Oh, wait. Yes I can. Mostly, it stems from home. And I get it. It is, often, easier to just do things for your kids. It saves time and frustration for the parent. I understand being a parent. I understand being tired. When the lovelies were growing up I had a conversation with someone about surgeries. I told them the main reason I feared being put to sleep was that I might never wake up because I was so tired. So I do understand.
But doing everything for a child does nothing good for the child. Not that I can see anyway.
Here's the amazing thing: once the students in my classes (k-5) understand that I am not going to do it for them and that the reasons that I'm not going to do it for them, the students, wait for it....do it themselves. Wow.
My fear is, if we don't start making the kids do things for themselves and use those wonderful brains of theirs, we're really going to be in for it when they grow up. Some people might believe that this all changes when these kids become adults, but it doesn't. At least, not for most of them.
When a child needs help, help them. When a child is asking because he/she wants you to do it for them so they don't have to exert the energy or do the thinking, don't. It's that simple. And, YES. It's quite easy to tell the difference.
I had someone not too long ago tell me that a student couldn't do something. I was told the student wasn't capable (not the exact words). However, once I sat beside her and asked her questions that prompted her to think about what to do, she WAS able to do it. And she is able to do her work by herself all the time now. Imagine that. Sometimes, for all of us, it's a matter of slowing down and thinking for a minute.
I've seen, over the years, the occasional teacher who will just do something for a student based on mom or dad saying their child is 'slow.' I know that there are special needs children out there. But, when someone isn't a special needs child, let's let them do their own thinking and their own work. Otherwise, they are not going to learn it. AND, they might just grow up with some resentments when they figure out why they can't do anything. I've even seen the student sitting next to that child reach over and do it for them.
So we talk a lot about using our own brains in my class. We talk about how our brains need exercise just like our bodies do. We talk about how when we do the work for our friends, that our brains will get tired and our friends' brains will get lazy.
I've experienced this in my own life. When I was growing up I was told that there were certain activities/chores/etc.that I couldn't do (and playing linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys was only one of the many). A lot of these things were activities and such that other people did just fine on a daily basis. Even after I got married I would hear things like, "Let him do that. You shouldn't have to do that." What? I STILL can't cut the grass. Sheesh.
Now, that's not to say that there aren't things I don't (or won't) do but that's because I don't want to. Not because I'm unable. And yes, I did get over it. But that's because I have a rebellious spirit and have always (ALWAYS) done exactly what people told me not to or that I couldn't do. And the things that I was told I couldn't do were probably based on an old fashioned gender issue.
Today, kids are not being told anything. All they have to do is sit there and wait and, eventually, someone will come and do it for them. Heck, that person might even decide the kid is 'slow' when, in fact, the kid is way smarter than the person doing the job for him or her. I mean, who's sitting there not having to do anything and who's doing the work?
Have y'all seen this happening in your neck of the woods?
