Why I Am A SAHGM

Y'all remember my new acronym, right? SAHGM = Stay At Home GrandMa? I've been reading about this 'trend' lately and there are so many reasons that grandparents are stepping in and helping provide daily care for their grandchildren like:

• strengthening family bonds
• reducing the financial burden of childcare
• to be close to their grandchildren
• to enable their children to pursue their own careers
• to feel needed

USA Today says studies have been conducted that show benefits to the grandparents themselves such as improved cognitive abilities and getting more exercise for those grandparents providing 200-500 hours of care/year.

Well, great! When does that more exercise kick in? And the improvement in cognitive abilities? Oh, wait. The exercise takes the form of getting up off the floor after getting down there 50 times every day. And walking the baby around the house and taking walks in the neighborhood and getting up and down from a rocking chair and letting the dog in and out a gazillion times to chase squirrels. The improvement in cognitive ability comes in from remembering whether or not you closed the refrigerator door when you got the bottles out. Or where you left your phone. Or whether or not your phone got wrapped up in that last dirty diaper. BTW, where did you put that last dirty diaper?

Yes, yes. There's humor to be found in a grandparent taking care of grandchildren. And please, let's keep it at grandCHILD because if you throw another one into the mix, I'm OUT.(JK- bring them on!) 

So, what is the real reason I chose to stop teaching and become a SAHGM? When I was in grad school I worked in a daycare center until my graduate assistantship started. A friend and I had the class with the two-year-olds and we had a good thing going in there. Those were some smart little kiddos. But I saw, first-hand, what goes on in those places and that's the reason I stayed home and raised the lovelies. Seriously, I don't care how good we think a daycare is, unless you've work in one, you have no idea what really goes on in there. If there is one thing a parent should never have to worry about it's the level of care their children are receiving. 

Which comes to my point, finally. I decided to quit teaching to take care of Baby M so that my daughter would not have to worry about the care her daughter was getting. Birdie (Lovely3 and Baby M's mommy) LOVES her job. Her career. She LOVES it! She is an athletic trainer who works clinic in the mornings with orthopedic surgeons and hits the football field with a high school in the afternoons. When football season is over, she's still involved with athletes as the high school has just about every sport known to man. She was our athlete growing up so it was no surprise that she chose something like athletic training as a career. I wanted her to be able to continue loving and working that career without having to worry about Baby M's care.

Yes, Birdie still misses Baby M every day but she never has to worry about the level of care her daughter is getting.

You know, until Grandma's cognitive abilities blow out completely due to the exhaustion from all that exercise.

Bottom line- We do what we can do for family. And seriously, who would want to miss out on this:

Have y'all been caretakers for your grand loves?

Geritol is Still Around, Isn't It?

I sure hope so. Because I need some. I realized this last week when, on Wednesday, I had zero energy in the late afternoon. Not only that, but I had been off my game all day. And that lack of energy was lower than usual. I need some Geritol.

Why do we forget how much effort it takes to be caretaker for a tiny little baby? Ha! They don't require much unless I am the adult in charge. Here's the problem in a nutshell, if the baby is awake, I feel like I have to entertain her. Yes, I give her crib time because she loves her mobile (it's a Wimmer-Ferguson developmental mobile and, as an early childhood developmental specialist, I LOVE IT) but when Baby M tires of 'talking' to the baby face on the mobile, I put on my best bag of tricks for helping Baby M develop other skills. It's exhausting. I need some Geritol.

I cannot, for the life of me, just let Baby M sit in her bouncy seat and have fun staring and trying to control her hands. I have to talk to her while she's doing that--"Those are your sweet little hands. You'll be able to do all sorts of things with those hands..." I cannot just hold her on my lap while I watch television or read a book. No, I have to talk to her and read to her and give her the name of the things I think she's looking at. I cannot just let her sit on my lap outside or be in the stroller on a walk. No, I have to point out the trees and the effect the wind has on them and that yellow butterfly that flutters through the yard and the birds that eat from the deck right in front of us. I cannot just change her clothes, I have to talk her through it. Every step. I cannot simply read her a book, I have to tell her what the big words mean. The only time I'm not interacting with her is when she's sleeping. I need some Geritol.

Then there's the fact that I still have my sweet Tucker pup to let in and out of the house a gazillion times every single day to chase those squirrels. And the flies I have to chase down and destroy who sneak in when Tucker opens the door by himself because I left it ajar. I really need some Geritol.

And what about the housework? That's still mine as well. There are three adults in this house but only one cooks and cleans and grocery shops. All the while trying to care for Baby M, blog, write, and set up my Etsy shop (oh, BTW, I'm setting up an Esty shop, y'all!). Please tell me they still make Geritol.

I've brought back Wednesday night dinners. That's the only day Baby M is here from morning to evening. What a great idea that was. Have you tried preparing a meal for 7+ adults with an infant in the house? An infant who knows exactly when you were going to begin preparing this meal and decides she will not be napping so you have to entertain her instead of cooking? Where can I buy some Geritol?

I could easily blame all of this on my granddaddy who always said, "The housework can wait, babies and children won't. Spend your time with them and don't worry about the rest." And he was right. The house can wait. Baby M is way more important (and fun) and she won't be a baby for long.

These are not bad things. I love taking care of Baby M. She's the sweetest little wiggly thing. A delight, really. I wouldn't even consider not letting Tucker in and out a gazillion times and robbing him of his fun. But no matter how you look at it people, I am not a young person anymore so I am looking for some Geritol. And I'm buying it in bulk.

Do y'all know who sells Geritol?


Peace, Peeps!

A Day in the Life of Grandma and a New Look

What better way to launch the new look of Empty Nest than with a bit of grandparenting humor?

Let me just say right now that I do love Baby M to pieces. But this taking care of grandloves during the day is going to take some getting used to. Some of y'all knew this was coming, didn't you? Yes, it's true. There really IS a reason God gives babies to young people.

Lord help me when she becomes mobile. After our first hour and a half, I thought the whole day had passed and it was time for her mother to come pick her up.


Here's a portion of our first full-time day together.

7:44: Lovely 3 and Baby M arrive.
7:45: Lovely 3 tells me she forgot the bottles.
7:46: Lovely 1 who nannies two babies gets us a bottle from one of the moms. I have formula.Crisis averted.
8:05: Lovely 3 leaves for her first day back at work full time.
8:13: Baby M wants a bottle.
8: 30ish: We read, THE LITTLE HOUSE, have floor time, have 'Grandma steals all the kisses time'
9:00: We read the rest of THE LITTLE HOUSE just so Grandma can try to finish it without tearing up ( I love that book), and crib time.
9:35: Baby M falls asleep while cooing to her mobile and listening to classical music.
9;36: Grandma thinks it's not good that Baby M fell asleep since her mother will be here any minute to pick her up.
9:36 1/2: Grandma goes into shock that Baby M has been here less than 2 hours.
9:37: Grandma makes egg sammies because Lovely 1 was hungry.
9:55: Lovely 1 walks her charges down here to pick up sammie and coffee.
10:05ish: Baby M wakes up and her dad stops by with the bottles.
10:15: Grandma and Baby M rock and read, ALL I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM A LITTLE GOLDEN BOOK.
10:30: Baby M wants a little bit of a bottle and falls asleep.
10:48: Grandma tries a couple bites of her cold egg sammie and suddenly realizes why she was more slender when the lovelies were growing up and wonders if, perhaps, grandparenting is good for dieting?
11:00ish: Grandmas sings a little song she made up entitled: "Where is your sweet mama, shouldn't she be coming to pick you up soon?" Y'all can probably guess the remaining lyrics.

Y'all. That did not even get us to lunch and I STILL hadn't gotten a chance to eat that egg sammie. Let's face it, they are not that delicious cold.

No, I'm not going to change anything. I love and appreciate being able to keep Baby M every day. It's such a privilege. There are TONS of sacrifices that I had no idea were coming my way but, I should have. I made many of the same sacrifices to stay home with the lovelies and it was worth it. This is as well because this:

After all, with me, it's all about my kids and grandkids. :)

What makes y'all feel your age?

And now, tell me your HONEST opinion of the new look of Empty Nest. I really wanted something happier to reflect the happy mood that being a grandmother brings. Did it work? Was it a mistake? 

I think Lori at Imagination Designs did a fantastic job considering she had to put up with me and my indecisiveness. Not to mention my fear of change. 

Anyway, honest comments, pretty please! 

Peace, Peeps!

Hey! I'm a Trend!

Did y'all know that grandparents providing daycare for their grandchildren is a trend???? I had no idea. I thought this was something everyone who can, does. The newness of this escapes me. Perhaps it's just because, in my family, this is what we do. We 'do' for family.

There is a magazine, of sorts, that is sent out to the schools to be distributed among parents called, Lowcountry Parent. The June issue offers an article about grandparents providing daycare for their grandchildren. I suppose the reason this is being called a 'trend' is because of the increase in numbers rather than the newness of it since there is nothing new about taking care of your grandchildren if you can or need to do so.

The article, "Second Time Around" (is that really what this is? I thought that meant you are taking on a grandchild in the role of parent instead of grandparent but they didn't ask me, Ha!) mentions the ups and downs of grandparents taking care of grandchildren. The author only lists three of the ups that would be included on my way longer list but the downs are what interested me.

One grandmother states that the downside is adhering to the rules her daughter has set up for her granddaughter. A second one tells that the downside for her is restricting how much she gives into her grandchildren's wants. The third and final grandmother, the only one who truly falls correctly into the title, has taken on the role of parent for her grandson (I'm not going to go into this situation in this post but, these grandparents are truly amazing.) 

That's it? That's all you've got? Let me tell you, my oldest daughter is a nanny. It only took me 40 minutes with one of her charges, an adorable 4-month-old girl, to realize the truth of why children are given to young people and asked: 

What in the hell have I gotten myself into? 

This is going to take some preparation and a call to reality, people. Just off the top of my head--

1. I need to get in shape before the baby comes. In July. Uh oh doesn't even begin to cover it. Not because I care what other people think but because I need to be able to keep up the pace of a little one. Ok, I'll need to be able to get up OFF the floor after I've gotten down.   
2. I need to get rid of my personal, daily agendas that I welcomed back so enthusiastically when the nest emptied out. Crap.
3. I've got to remember to be calm and peaceful around the baby. Holy Crap.
4. The house needs to be baby proofed. And it needs to be done even better than when I was young and could get to a daughter quickly. Goodbye, everything being left in convenient locations.
5. My days will not be my own even though I am not going to a job every day. I will be owned by an infant. This could, in all honesty, go either way.
6. Daytime binge watching on Netflix and Hulu of all those series I was looking forward to starting is not going to happen. I doubt the shows I watch are little kid appropriate. Stay up and binge watch at night? Nope. My age won't allow that when I have to get up and care for the sweetest grandchild EVER.
7. That diaper smell. Nothing will prepare me for that.  
8. All that time I thought I'd enjoy sitting down and relaxing on the deck with coffee or a smoothie, my camera and a book? Get over it. Babies keep people busy.
9. I have to learn how to do things quickly all over again. Just as I was beginning to enjoy taking my time.
10. I must realize that I am not as young as I once was.

Now, all that being said, it is truly an honor to be allowed the special privilege of caring for Baby M. Yes, I need to wake up to some realities, sooner than later, but it will all be worth it to see that sweet little face every day and not have to worry about the who and what in a daycare.

Ok y'all, what did I leave out?