Mother's Day

Mother and me about 1966

I know you've all seen and read When God Made Mothers by Erma Bombeck. I've had a copy for YEARS myself. But I never tire of reading it.

So, in honor of Mother's Day and all you wonderful moms out there- here it is once again:


By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one"? And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."


The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"

"And that's just on the standard model?" The Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yes, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"Yes, she is soft", the Lord agreed, "But I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the inquisitive Angel.

The Lord smiled and replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That is a tear!"

"What's the tear for? the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Truly, You do all things well... Moms are truly amazing!"

Happy Mother's Day Y'all!

Hope you're having a wonderfully delightful day filled with family and laughter! 

The Nurturer in Me

One thing I quickly discovered upon having an empty nest is, just because there are no children here to cater to take care of, the need to nurture does not stop. It's a wonderful gift this nurturing spirit we mothers possess.  It is one of the best innate gifts we have been blessed with.  It keeps us going when we are exhausted from chasing little devils our precious little ones around; allows knowledge we didn't even know we had to kick in enabling us to handle situations our babes get into; it enables our healing nature when the sweet ones are sick; it guides our disciplinary actions with understanding, fairness and a gentle manner. We may have to let our children go do our best to raise our precious ones to go out into the world, but our need to nurture does not end when the young ones leave us stranded venture out on their own.  This stripping of the motherhood stripes almost automatically leads to a huge tidal surge of love and nurturing washing over husbands like a tsunami.  Immediate effects?  Nurturing nature satisfied.  Long term effects?  Husbands become SPOILED ROTTEN and can no longer do anything on their own.  I, personally, have, because of this blasted evil nurturing spirit, created the proverbial MONSTER.  Overnight.

The last 26 years have found every second of my time occupied with the raising of our four daughters.  When they were babes they had to have my nurturing care 24/7 at least.  Hubs was very good during these years not only with the changing of diapers, but he would also get up, fetch a crying baby, change her and bring her to me for nursing.  He was able to get himself up in the mornings for work without disturbing anyone's sleep (and by anyone, I mean mine), get himself dressed, make his own lunch and head out the door with ample time to spare.  As the girls grew older and became involved in their various activities, Hubs was there to attend the events or stay with a younger daughter or, really, whatever I needed him to do.  And he did it quite well.  Oh, I might have had to leave him with instructions, but he followed them and no one was ever hurt or left wanting.  Point is, he was quite capable. 

Now that our nest is empty, however, Hubs has quickly developed a helpless sort of nature.  And, at fault, is my nature to nurture.

Hubs:  "Are there any jalapenos?"
Me: "Yes, in the fridge." 
Hubs: "Where?"
Me:  "On the door." (And, under my breath: "Right where they ALWAYS are because I know you love them and I never let you run out of them you moron wonderful man") 
Hubs: "I don't see them."  Followed by me going to the fridge, opening the door (very key step when looking for something located in said fridge), securing the jalapenos and handing them to Hubs.
Hubs:  "Oh, I didn't see them."  (Really? Oh geez...)

Or, this senario:
Picture the bedroom, bed covered in just washeddriedfolded laundry that I haven't put away yet.

Hubs:  "Did you do laundry today?"
Me: (holding breath and quickly counting to five MILLION before answering) "Yes, I did."
Hubs:  "Did you wash my under armor?"
Me:  (in my mind: WTH? Can you NOT see right in front of you freaking face?!) "Yeppers.  Sure did."
Hubs:  "Where is it?" 

Yes, I created that MONSTER.  Though I do wonder that, since God gives mothers this nurturing spirit, can He be blamed? (After all, Adam DID blame God for Eve's indiscretion---The woman you put here with me...) 

I would NOT under any circumstances ever wish any kind of pain on any of my daughters.  But, today, DoodleBug had to have her wisdom teeth taken out and, just for today, I was able to nurture her and Birdie, who isn't sick or anything but came to sit with her sister.  I made mashed potatoes and served it to them.  I made homemade, triple chocolate milkshakes and served them.  I slaved over homemade mom's-heal-all-chicken-noodle-soup and served them.  Whatever they needed, I got for them and, when they wanted me to play Wii tennis with Birdie, I did and, it was pure pleasure.  AND, not one single time, did I have to speak mentally or do any counting at all.