Clean It Up

I wrote a post a few weeks back about purging the attic which hadn't been touched-- other than to throw more junk in there so it would be out of sight-- in 28 years. What. A. Mess. I didn't make my cut-off date but I am still going. I have to depend on others to go up those terrifying ladder rungs because of my knee and my fear of heights.

I do not want to leave my kids with a mess.

One huge reason other than wanting to get rid of things not needed by anyone was to clean up and get rid of a huge mess so that the lovelies wouldn't have to deal with it all when I'm not longer around. I do not want to leave my kids with a mess to clean when I should have dealt with it myself. I know they'll be so busy mourning me anyway. HA!

Simplifying my life brings me peace. 

Purging the attic made me realize I have many other areas in the house I need to get in order not only for the kids but also because it will make me feel better about the house. Simplifying my life brings me such peace. When things are packed tight and messy, this empty nester is not a happy camper.

Improving my health will make me less of a burden later. 

But what about health? I suddenly realized the better my health, the less likely I will either become a burden to the lovelies or, at the very least, lessen the amount of time they have to be caregivers. Or the less time I have to spend in assisted care. I know some of those places are nice and all but I do not relish the thought of spending my later years in one. At the same time, I don't want to but such a burden that the lovelies would have to interrupt their lives and lifestyles to accommodate me and my needs. Especially if it happens because I chose not to improve my health when I could have. When it would still have made a difference.

Hats off to caregivers. They are amazing!

I should have thought about this when my mother had her gall bladder out and I discovered I am NOT the caregiver type. Oh, sure. When it comes to a grandbaby, no problem. My issue is with adults. I am not a good caretaker of adults. I would much rather source that out to those wonderful, amazing people who do this all the time. Seriously, crowns in heaven. It doesn't matter how good a caregiver is, I am one of the most private people I've ever known. I like to keep everything private and I do not like being taken care of by others. When I find myself in that position, I feel dehumanized. I know part of it is my obsessive about privacy but some of it is because I've always been let down in a dependency situation.

I want the best quality of life for myself and my family. 

There's a huge, selfish plus to getting the attic, the rest of the house, and my health/fitness level in order--- I can relax and enjoy the last third of my life without worrying about needing to do it or leaving it for the lovelies or other relatives to deal with. I'm talking about our quality of life. And I want the best quality not only for myself but also for my family.

What are your thoughts on this?

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Things That Come Out of Our Mouths

Being around elementary students every day tends to open your eyes to certain facts including:

• Only the young should have children
• Their enthusiasm is contagious
• Their energy is not
• They really do say the darnest things
• They are all way smarter than we think they are
• They will take everything that comes out of your mouth LITERALLY

In my efforts to simplify my life (which is way more difficult than I though especially when other people live with me) I read, at Soul Hiker, that being clear in my speech reflects mental clarity. Uh oh. I'm in big trouble on this one. My mind is mush so you can imagine what comes out of my mouth. No where am I more aware of this than when in the classroom with elementary kiddos.

I used to think it was the kiddos but, I now realize that is not always the case. Sometimes (often), it's more of my speech not being clear. And it does lead to confusion and misunderstanding. Two things are never necessary. Being around the kiddos has brought me to a better awareness of the words I use as well as my tone of voice. Without an awareness of our speech, we may as well be communicating digitally (which is a little better now with all the Emojis for clarification  😜...Riiight.)

The problem with communicating digitally, however, is the lack of human contact- something we seem to be forgetting that we need. If a baby is lacking in human contact, they suffer failure to thrive. I believe this is something that happens to anyone of any age when human contact becomes scarce. (Off topic, much?)

Getting back on track- suppose I said to you, "For Pete's sake, STOP telling me it's only three months until Christmas." You might think that I don't like Christmas or that I think reindeer are stupid and I don't believe in Santa. You would be wrong. On all counts. All I meant by that was, I already know when Christmas is because it's the same date every year and because I LOVE Christmas and count down the days/months/whatever from one Christmas to the next. I don't need to hear this every day. So, to recap, it's not that I don't like Christmas, it's that I prefer not to be annoyed by people telling me things of which I am already aware. But I was not clear about the meaning behind my words, was I?

I'm also not clear in my speech when I tell the two lovelies who live here with me to clean up their rooms. Because they never do. Only problem is that, in that case, I have no idea how to be clearer.

What about people who talk and talk and talk and talk so much that you start to think they don't really have a point they just like to hear the sound of their own voice? Do you know anyone like that? I do. I know four people like that. Nope. Make that five, Droning on and on isn't being clear in our speech.

When we aren't clear in our speech, we seem to be hinting at something or giving mixed messages, and we never get to the point. I tune out very early when these people start talking. Of course, we don't need to be so direct that we offend others. But getting to the point should not take long. Short, sweet, and concise is the rule that I am trying to follow. Apparently, I'm not doing a very good job with that rule in this post but, you get the point. I hope.

So I am working on being clear in my communication. I should probably work on my listening skills too. I've just recently heard the phrase, "Listen to hear not to respond." That's excellent advice.

And another area to add to that ever growing self-improvement list.

Is anyone else out there working on a self-improvement list? I'd love to hear about it!