On the Road Again

Ok, the fake road. The indoor with AC because it's more humid than humid outside road. The treadmill. Also, raise your hand if you sang the title to this post. 😂

When I turned 50 a while back (ha!) I thought I'd join the senior center instead of a gym because while the gym provides a good deal of eye candy, the senior center would put me in the midst of 'my people' and I thought I'd be way more comfortable with them than the eye candy since the 'eye candy' lot are not 'my people.'

Since NashvilleDaughter and DrummerBoy decided to tie-the-knot I quickly realized I am tired of being the fat MOB (mother-of-the-bride) and yes I used the word fat and it's fine because I'm talking about myself and it is what it is and I am what I am so there.

Why not just walk outside? I used to do that but over the last couple years I've gotten out of the habit and the humidity is putting forth a serious effort to finally kill me so, at least for now, it needs to be inside.

Why didn't I just join the senior center? Because I decided, after my tour, I was not a fan of being shown up on a treadmill by an 85-year-old on an elliptical (which is the evilest machine ever made) so I just became sedentary which was such a great help.

I finally decided to give Planet Fitness a go. I have friends who go there and Y'all, it's only $10/month and they do not bill you annually and you can cancel at any time AND I joined for a mere $1.00. WooHoo! TeacherDaughter also has a membership (though her's is the $20/month because she's fancy. And has a job.) so we've been going together for 3 weeks now which is great because that actually gets me in the gym.

I think it was on our 3rd day that they showed up. Who? Those 85-year-olds. There they were on the ellipticals showing up even the eye candy. These older folks go to town on those things and TALK while doing it! Are you kidding me? I can't talk while I'm on the treadmill because NO BREATH. If that's not bad enough there are people who, now get this---RUN to the gym for their workout and then RUN home. Showoffs. Sadly, I have one of those in my own family. Traitor. Anyway...

Do I like Planet Fitness? I do. The people working out keep to themselves and most of them make sure not to jump on the machine right beside you which I like because I need at least 10-foott radius from others. The employees, so far, are all super friendly and helpful without being the least bit intrusive. The price is RIGHT! The machines are plentiful and there are options when choosing a workout. They do have trainers. I met one after a class he taught but since the younger people who
just took the class looked like they were about to pass out I'm pretty sure you won't see me taking one. He was super perky anyway and when I'm sweating like someone working in a warehouse with no AC wearing wool on the hottest day of the year you don't want to put perky in my face.

The thing I like most about Planet Fitness is how clean it is. Those people know how to keep a place clean and to a germaphobe like me, that's HUGE. I also like that no one in there seems to pay one bit of attention to anyone else in there and I like that because I hate to be watched.

Of course, every gym has THAT ONE person who comes dressed in arrogance and self-importance but she's so far out of my fitness league I should never have to encounter her. Oh and to the middle-aged lady flirting with that middle-aged, MARRIED man---I saw you. You should probably back off. Just sayin'. What can I say? Sometimes people are brazen right in front of my face.

So, Planet Fitness gets a big YES vote from me. It's only been 3 weeks but I don't expect any of this to change. It's fun and I need to get this weight off and getting fit again won't hurt anything so hopefully, I'll keep going even though I'll have to go solo starting next week.

What are y'all doing to get or keep yourselves fit?

Oh, and here:

Now, where did I put that bag of potato chips?

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Saying YES to the Dress

The whole finding the dress thing is not for sissies. It's a process that goes by quickly for some and not so quickly for others.

When ArtistDaughter got married she knew what she wanted, drew the dress, gave it to Mother who made a pattern and then the dress. When AthleticTrainerDaughter got married, she found her dress at our next to last stop on our first day out. NashvilleDaughter hasn't been quite so lucky in the speedy quick finding of the dress. But she has found it.

When you're nine hours away from your daughter who is planning a wedding you find ways to 'be there' without being there. This is where you become quite grateful for technology. Especially when she's trying on wedding gowns.

This girl looked all over the place in Nashville, around Nashville, Atlanta, and even thought she might have to fly out to California as well as come home to look. The good news is, she found her dress. The bad news is, she won't need to come to Charleston to look. Ha!

I have to say this about the places she visited in Nashville- the buildings themselves were incredible. I love old, exposed brick and rustic design and that's just what you get if you're shopping for a wedding dress in Nashville. She sent hundreds of photos of each dress and we could see the building interiors in those shots. So nice! And I heard the girls helping her were amazing which is great because I don't have to let someone have it next time I get up there. Ha!

My advice to looking for the dress when mom can't be there?

• Take several friends with you. And make sure they're honest. They need to be able to let you know when a dress is lovely but maybe not that flattering on you. There are nice ways to do this and you want to know, trust me. Let them help you with the pros and cons of each dress.
• Take loads of pictures from every angle possible and spin for the videos. I'm not kidding when I say you can't take/send too many pictures/videos. This makes you feel your long distance family is close and it makes us feel a part of the process. We loved every single one of the 5 gazillion photos/videos we got. 
• Take your time. If you find your dress on the first try, great! If you have to try on 150 dresses, also great! The thing is, take your time and find YOUR dress. 
• Try on several different styles. Sometimes, what we think will look good on us doesn't OR something we thought would never look good on us, does. You never know for sure until you try it so try on what you like and what you don't like as well as several different styles.
• Don't settle. If you feel you're in a time crunch or feel pressure from others about the dress search going on too long, stop feeling that way. Take a break and go back in a week or two. If NashvilleDaughter had stopped before that last dress (no it didn't take 100 but she was darn close to it), she would not have been completely happy with it. 
• Take your time. I know I mentioned it before but it's important. 
• Don't get discouraged. Try on as many dresses as you need to. YOUR dress is out there and not everyone will find it the first time out. There is no such thing as trying on too many dresses when searching for the right one for you. Plus, trying on wedding dresses can be a lot of fun. 
• Try not to have a stroke when you see the cost. Seriously, they do cost a whole lotta bucks when your grandmother is no longer around to make the dress or you don't get lucky and want a short dress. Yet another good reason to try on 100 dresses if that's what it takes.  
• Moms and Dads, if you're paying for the wedding let her have the dress SHE wants. You're very generous but that doesn't mean you should dictate what she wears or which venue or caterer or who gets invited. Regardless of who's paying, it's THEIR wedding. Not yours. That doesn't mean you can't make suggestions. Just make sure they aren't unsolicited suggestions.
• Trust your gut and don't be talked into something especially if your mom isn't there to run interference for you. If you're unsure, it's. not.your. dress.
• If you don't live close but your daughter's future mother-in-law does, make sure she's invited along. Especially if she loves your girl the way Nashville's future MIL loves mine. You'll know for sure someone has her back. Also, DrummerBoy's mom only has sons so getting to do some girl stuff is even more fun! (LOVE you Susie!)

I've probably left a few things out but my mind is now on photographers. I'll be talking about those contracts soon. Contracts. UGH.   

How long did it take you or your daughter to find THE dress?

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Rules for Being the MOB

As in Mother of the Bride. And I guess these are more like tips than rules but, some of them probably should be rules.

I've been the Mother of the Bride twice now. No, this does not make me an expert. But it has served to give me insight into some important things to remember when entering into this important role. I never had trouble going in thinking I was going to make the decisions. When you have a control type parent, you tend not to be one yourself. (Though I am a control freak in other areas of life...LOL). But, as I have come to realize from having a bestie who plans weddings, there are mothers out there who do. To those moms I say, "GET OVER IT."

Did I think all of my girls' ideas were great? No. Did each wedding turn out perfect? Yes. Because it was their own, individual style. We've had extravagant to laid back and both were just perfect! And fun! So let your daughter have it HER way.

The Tips:

1.  It's not YOUR wedding. Even if your lovely daughter wants things that you believe won't work, it is HER wedding. Let her do it HER way. YES, even if you are paying for it. Besides, if you bide your time, she'll probably ask you and maybe even agree with you. If not, so what? It is HER wedding.  
2. Get a wedding planner OR, at the very least, someone you trust who is experienced in these matters. They will get you deals that you can't get on your own and relieve a tremendous amount of stress. AND, they might be able to help you deflect those ideas you think are not that terrific since the thought is coming from someone other than you. 
3. If your daughter does not want to have a photo-booth, get one anyway even if you make it a surprise. She'll be glad you did when all is said and done. Those things are a total BLAST!
4. If there's trouble, try to keep it away from your daughter. Sometimes people will try to step in and upset the apple cart. Smack them out of the way and put that thing back in order before she sees it and gets all upset.  
5. Keep your opinions to yourself UNLESS she specifically asks for them. If she's open, you can show her options that she may not have been aware of but don't force the issue.  
6. Make sure the photographer didn't take 1600 photos BEFORE you promise you'll make photobooks on Shutterfly for your daughter so she can give them to the grandparents for Christmas.
7. If you think no one is going to step up and host the bridal luncheon for your daughter, step up and do it yourself. It's a lovely event and she'll appreciate it greatly.
8. You're all set and head out to the wedding venue. Take a second Mother of the Bride outfit just in case you suddenly don't really like the one you thought you would. Or, you discover that, since no one consulted you on their attire, you discover that they are all under dressed leaving you over dressed. 
9. RELAX. If you get all stressed and tense about things not going your way, you'll miss out on all the fun! Because she'll leave you out of it. As well she should since IT IS NOT YOUR WEDDING.  
10. Be willing to help where you are needed and let her carry the ball where you are not.
11. If someone needs to be the bully when a vendor isn't being...professional, you step in. Handle it without anyone's knowledge or let your planner step in. I've always told my girls they are welcome to use me as the 'Wicked Witch of the East' and that holds true to this day. I don't mind stepping in and taking the blame, but leave my girls alone. Ya know?
12. If you have a blog, make sure the vendors know this. And that they will be reviewed on said blog. For all your 5,000 plus readers. Yes, it's OK to exaggerate that number. They won't know until they read the review IF they read it. Y'all know that almost all of our vendors got rave reviews and each of the emailed me with their gratitude. It works both ways. 
13. Try to impress upon your daughter the importance of the wedding pictures--you know, offer to pay for them and get someone reputable. Otherwise she might hire someone (affordable) who took pictures at her future SIL's wedding and, when you get them back, you'll discover his aren't any better than the ones you took yourself.

Yes, I speak from experience. I'll never attend daughter's wedding without a second outfit and I will offer to pay for the photographer. The first time around it wasn't an issue as we foot the bill and Breezy was fine with whomever I chose. This time, Birdie (alias: Ms Independent), wanted to pay and plan. Though she was very grateful when Bestie offered to plan with her. We were all grateful for that. LOL

My girls and I have had no real issues with wedding planning. I'd say 99% of it has been all fun! Not bad odds at all. I think it's mainly because I do respect the fact that it is their wedding, not mine. That would even be the one tip I would post if I had to limit said tips to only one. 

Have you ever been Mother of the Bride? What are your tips?