Two Words: Engagement Photos

Ok, three words because let's add, LOVE to the mix because that's what you can clearly see in the photos. Also, the title should have served as a warning that there would be a photo or two in this post or 20 because Y'all know what a hard time I have narrowing down photos for blog posts or any other reason for that matter.

The photographer who took the pictures is one of my favorite photographers ever! And not just because her hubby is a member of The Wild Feathers (DrummerBoy's band) but because this girl can take some pictures, Y'all. Rachel captures the spirit of her subjects and gives a light that draws you to the photos.

I can't tell Y'all how much I'd love for Rachel to take the wedding photos but NashvilleDaughter and DrummerBoy want their friends there to celebrate and enjoy so another photographer it shall be.

Just click the links above or on the photos to visit Rachel's website--Rachel Moore Photography. She's so talented!

And these guys are so stinkin' cute! They are without a doubt one of the happiest couples I've ever known.

Both of them are so sweet and kind-hearted. Caring and compassionate. Hard-working and fun-loving.

Blessed with friends and family but we all know we are blessed by knowing them.

True love. Soul Mates. A match made in heaven. It may sound mushy but it's all true of these two.

It does a mama's heart good when someone makes her daughter smile like this guy does--

But I also love that she makes him smile, too.

Saying YES to the Dress

The whole finding the dress thing is not for sissies. It's a process that goes by quickly for some and not so quickly for others.

When ArtistDaughter got married she knew what she wanted, drew the dress, gave it to Mother who made a pattern and then the dress. When AthleticTrainerDaughter got married, she found her dress at our next to last stop on our first day out. NashvilleDaughter hasn't been quite so lucky in the speedy quick finding of the dress. But she has found it.

When you're nine hours away from your daughter who is planning a wedding you find ways to 'be there' without being there. This is where you become quite grateful for technology. Especially when she's trying on wedding gowns.

This girl looked all over the place in Nashville, around Nashville, Atlanta, and even thought she might have to fly out to California as well as come home to look. The good news is, she found her dress. The bad news is, she won't need to come to Charleston to look. Ha!

I have to say this about the places she visited in Nashville- the buildings themselves were incredible. I love old, exposed brick and rustic design and that's just what you get if you're shopping for a wedding dress in Nashville. She sent hundreds of photos of each dress and we could see the building interiors in those shots. So nice! And I heard the girls helping her were amazing which is great because I don't have to let someone have it next time I get up there. Ha!

My advice to looking for the dress when mom can't be there?

• Take several friends with you. And make sure they're honest. They need to be able to let you know when a dress is lovely but maybe not that flattering on you. There are nice ways to do this and you want to know, trust me. Let them help you with the pros and cons of each dress.
• Take loads of pictures from every angle possible and spin for the videos. I'm not kidding when I say you can't take/send too many pictures/videos. This makes you feel your long distance family is close and it makes us feel a part of the process. We loved every single one of the 5 gazillion photos/videos we got. 
• Take your time. If you find your dress on the first try, great! If you have to try on 150 dresses, also great! The thing is, take your time and find YOUR dress. 
• Try on several different styles. Sometimes, what we think will look good on us doesn't OR something we thought would never look good on us, does. You never know for sure until you try it so try on what you like and what you don't like as well as several different styles.
• Don't settle. If you feel you're in a time crunch or feel pressure from others about the dress search going on too long, stop feeling that way. Take a break and go back in a week or two. If NashvilleDaughter had stopped before that last dress (no it didn't take 100 but she was darn close to it), she would not have been completely happy with it. 
• Take your time. I know I mentioned it before but it's important. 
• Don't get discouraged. Try on as many dresses as you need to. YOUR dress is out there and not everyone will find it the first time out. There is no such thing as trying on too many dresses when searching for the right one for you. Plus, trying on wedding dresses can be a lot of fun. 
• Try not to have a stroke when you see the cost. Seriously, they do cost a whole lotta bucks when your grandmother is no longer around to make the dress or you don't get lucky and want a short dress. Yet another good reason to try on 100 dresses if that's what it takes.  
• Moms and Dads, if you're paying for the wedding let her have the dress SHE wants. You're very generous but that doesn't mean you should dictate what she wears or which venue or caterer or who gets invited. Regardless of who's paying, it's THEIR wedding. Not yours. That doesn't mean you can't make suggestions. Just make sure they aren't unsolicited suggestions.
• Trust your gut and don't be talked into something especially if your mom isn't there to run interference for you. If you're unsure, it's. not.your. dress.
• If you don't live close but your daughter's future mother-in-law does, make sure she's invited along. Especially if she loves your girl the way Nashville's future MIL loves mine. You'll know for sure someone has her back. Also, DrummerBoy's mom only has sons so getting to do some girl stuff is even more fun! (LOVE you Susie!)

I've probably left a few things out but my mind is now on photographers. I'll be talking about those contracts soon. Contracts. UGH.   

How long did it take you or your daughter to find THE dress?

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Choosing a Wedding Venue

When your daughter lives 9 hours away, helping her plan a wedding is a little bit different though it can be done. We mamas in this situation who can't just hop on a plane or get in the car and go when we'd like to just have to do what we can from afar and choose events to attend that are most important to our daughters. The main thing is to make sure your daughter knows you're behind her every step of the way.

Take the tour

One of the main things I will say about wedding venues is no matter what you think of it online, GO TAKE THE TOUR because it will be different one way or the other. And that's exactly what happened this weekend when NashvilleDaughter toured her chosen venue.

It's a family affair

Two of the lovelies flew to Nashville this past weekend to visit NashvilleDaughter and DrummerBoy and to accompany their sister on the tour of her chosen venue. Now, online we all LOVED the venue. It seemed to have so much to offer in a rustic elegant sort of style and the services included sounded above and beyond what some venues offer. So what happened when they took the tour?

Make a connection

It was even BETTER than what we saw online and the pictures and videos they sent me verified this. Cha-Ching! My girls liked the gal who showed them around the venue and the bride-to-be has already bonded with this girl so that should make things go even smoother. Making a connection with the people you contact with while wedding planning does make a difference.

Get a fine tooth comb

One of the most important things you need when it comes to wedding planning is a fine tooth comb for use when going over the contracts. If you're helping your daughter (or son) make sure they SIGN NOTHING until they, you, and someone you trust who has wedding planning experience goes over that thing thoroughly and then look over it again and MAKE SURE YOU READ THE FINE PRINT as well as between the lines. Maybe even check for invisible ink. Seriously, KNOW WHAT IS BEING SIGNED.

So, where are we in the process? We're all in agreement about the venue and after using our fine tooth combs have agreed the contract is ok to sign. In other words, the wedding venue has been secured!

What happens when two of your sisters and your niece show up for a weekend?

You laugh at pillowcase dancing.

You make a new friend.

That's Bug with DrummerBoy's nephew who is a mere 4 months older than Bug.
They are BFFs now.
Aren't they adorable?

 You get to go to your very first Wild Feathers' concert and eat pretzels.

At Uncle DrummerBoy's concert. 

You get spoiled by your auntie.

Bug with the bride-to-be

 You get to ride around and look cool.

Too cool for school, Y'all!

Meanwhile, here at home, this happened:

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There's a Mother's Day SALE!

Let the Wedding Planning Begin...Again

The wedding planning, that is. This is our third time around with the planning of the weddings and I'm about as much a fan this time as I was the first two times which comes in at about a negative 10. However, I am fully in support of happy daughters so if it's a wedding they want to plan, it's a wedding I shall help them plan.

The first wedding in our family would not have happened without the help of my sweet friend who has more than ample experience in the world of wedding planning and by help I mean she did it all and you can read about that one HERE. It was the craziest thing I've ever done and we did it while the bride-to-be lived 5 hours away but really wanted to get married here at home. Let's just say there was a lot of traveling on her part and she stayed home for over a month as the date closed in. This one wasn't too bad as I was right here and could be hands-on with each step of the process. We don't have that this time but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The second daughter to get married wanted total control of her own day with little to no help which was just fine with me except if you've never planned a wedding before you might not be aware of the little surprises of all sorts that will most likely rear their ugly little heads. My lovely, lovely, sweet, caring. loves us big time because she stepped in again and rescued me friend did her magic. Not that AthleticTrainer Daughter didn't know what she wanted or was doing a terrible job it's just a really big process and you can quite easily get overwhelmed. Y'all can read about that wedding HERE.

Enter the latest lovely to plan a wedding, NashvilleDaughter. Do we all live in Nashville? Nope. We're about a 9-hour drive away from Nashville so this is going to be fun. The good news is NashvilleDaughter is the one who jumps in in full-steam-ahead mode and makes things happen. She's a planner, she loves social events, she's so excited to be planning her wedding and this makes life so easy for everyone else until she hits that stress wall that pops up without warning but in truth, she even handles that rather gracefully. So far, I've simply been available as a sounding board and giving my asked-for two cents and yes she asks because this girl loves to run everything past her mama and I don't mind that one little bit.

Tips for helping your daughter wedding plan long distance:

• Make sure you have a way to video chat. If you don't know how, get your kids, neighbor, friend or whomever to show you.
• Check your email frequently to answer her questions as some of them need a decision immediately.
• Same with text messages.
• Remind her to breathe and constantly remind her she's got this
• Get there as often as possible but choose carefully. If you can't be there for every. single. thing. discuss with your daughter which visits/tours/events she feels she would need your help doing. 
• Send a card or little sursy in the mail every so often so she knows you're thinking of her.
• Keep reminding her it is their wedding and they can do it their way no matter what anyone else has to say and let her know that you've got her back if need be.
• Help her pay attention to detail and go over contracts with her before anyone signs anything.
• If there's a planner, make sure she includes you in all communication. 
• Know her closest friends so when you feel that meltdown coming, you can let them know. Her friends may or may not already see it but it's nice to know someone she trusts is right there to lend an ear or a shoulder. 
• Give support any way you can.
• Keep all communication upbeat and positive even when a problem arises. 

I'm sure there are a million other tips that I've not thought of so if Y'all have any, please share them in the comments. This is our first time planning when the bride is this far away from mom and I'd love to hear your experiences!

This is PART 1 of a series on long distance wedding planning. 

Next up, the ceremony and reception venue or 2 sisters and a toddler travel all the way to Nashville to lend a hand. 

We've got a wedding going on around here!

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Wedding Hell...I Mean Planning

The wedding business is a racket. A scam.

Weddings seem to have become a competition of who can throw the showiest event. It's about showing off and drinking and partying and spending money.

I'm not a fan. I wasn't a fan while planning Breezy's (though her's was easier--she knew exactly what she wanted) wedding and, while planning Birdie's, I've found that I am still not a fan.

It's like dragging me kicking and screaming all the way. And you can't even imagine how much restraint it takes on my part to keep my trap shut when a vendor utters something like, "You can do anything you like at our venue to make your love story YOURS." Gag.

But we mothers do things for our kids, don't we?

The last 4 Saturdays have found me doing something wedding related---bridesmaids dress shopping, venue touring, wedding dress shopping, florist consultation, DJ/photobooth meeting, caterer tasting, the cake....it's never ending.

And, while most of the people with whom we meet are very nice, I can't stand it when they spout stupid, rehearsed phrases that they use on everyone. Drives. Me. Nuts. ESPECIALLY when they make such a big deal out of it and then FAIL TO EMAIL YOU THAT CONTRACT INFORMATION.

Which really doesn't matter so much since the kids have changed their minds about the venue. Again.

And then there was the trip to Mens Warehouse to check out the tuxes. Which we found. We also found the PERFECT bow ties to accompany said tuxes which the groom purchased for groomsman gifts. And promptly received a call from the idiot clerk at Mens Warehouse the next day to inform us that the ties weren't available. WTH? HOW did he not have this information when we were in the store????

One of the best things about wedding planning in an empty nest? There aren't any little kids around to hear the words that are coming out of my mouth. Ha!

Oh and then there are  all the vendors you've contacted and set up appointments  with and given the date of the wedding which has now changed back to the original date which had to be changed when two of the venues were not available on the original date. Which means the vendors might not be available now. Good thing no contracts have been signed.

The husband? He's so helpful and supportive.

Him: What are y'all doing today?
Me: Shopping for bridesmaids dresses.
Him: Oh, well I heard on the news that Target is selling bridesmaids dresses and are offering really good deals on them.

Yep. Target. I've seen the dresses. They look like they're from Target. And then, on GMA this week, I saw that Target is offering wedding dresses as well. They showed pictures of designer gowns and then had models come out with the Target equivalents. These dresses were NOTHING alike and the Target ones looked like they were from Target.

Not that I am a supporter of designer brands, but I'm also not a fan of wearing a wedding gown that looks like something K-Mart threw up. It's a wedding NOT prom night.

We do have Birdie's dress. It was created by a designer and it did cost more than the Target dresses. Though is was under $500. Woot!

At this point in time I'm thinking that, since she has procured the dress, they could very well elope.

Or else someone needs to share their Valium prescription.

I'll keep y'all posted.

Monday Listicles--Planning a Wedding

It's Memorial Day and a day off from school! Which means we are now down to only 9 school days left before summer vacay! WHAT?! WooHoo!

Monday also means Monday Listicles and THIS Monday marks Stasha's 100th listicle post! 

This week's list is all about free styling it! NEXT week the list will be The Top 10 Things You Notice About People.

All you have to do to join in with this week's list is click on the button! 

10 Tips for Empty Nesters on How to Keep Positive While Planning a Wedding

1. Regarding the money. Everything is overpriced. EVERYTHING. I swear it's a scam. But, so what? It's your daughter's wedding. It's going to cost money. AND, sometimes, the cost of something won't be near as much as you thought it would be! 
2. Tap into family and friend resources. There will be some who want to help- let them! With the understanding that this is your daughter's wedding so it's all about what SHE wants. If they want to do it their way instead- tell them NO.
3. The waiting sucks. We went out for the first time to get ideas for the bridesmaids dresses and start trying on wedding dresses. Which means we did a lot of waiting. All. Day. Long. BUT- if you take sisters/BFFs/relatives with you, you get to focus on the stories, smiles, laughter and tears instead of how long it's taking.
4. When you feel the need to vent, (you know, when your daughter wants something that horrifies you or a vendor totally pisses you off) do it with your Bestie (some of you might be lucky enough to have a husband willing to help in this area) or a close relative--someone who will keep it between the two of you. NEVER vent to/at your daughter!
5. Remember, you want to be the one your daughter can turn to for support NOT the one she runs away from because of your negativity.  
6. Remember that it's all about HER and HER day. Not yours. You had your chance YEARS ago. 
7. Don't let the list of things to do freak you out. Even though it may seem like there aren't enough hours in the day, there are! Everything will get done and it will all be well worth it!
8. Look forward to and totally immerse yourself in the wonderful girls' weekends you will host. Remember, if you are being all negative and controlling, you won't get to enjoy anything because they'll leave you out of as much as they possibly can.
9. Remember, it's just a wedding. If you start feeling overwhelmed/stressed/negative/angry---STEP BACK and regroup. 
10. Make up your mind that every single thing that goes into the planning is going to be fun and then embrace each task/meeting/event as such. 

Gotta give a shout out to BELLA BRIDESMAIDS (downtown Charleston, SC) and BRIDALS BY JODI (North Charleston, SC) for being so sweet and helpful and just downright wonderful! 

AND- Birdie found her dress! We had appointments at four different places (waitingwaitingwaiting) - she found two fantastic choices for bridesmaids dresses at Bella Bridesmaids and then, at our last stop of the (long) day, she found THE dress (thank you so much Betsy at Bridals by Jodi). 

See what a positive attitude can result in at the end of the day?