Milestones, Y'all

We've got them going on in this family right now. How so?

Baby M's parents bought their very first house! No more flushing money down the rental toilet! WooHoo!

This is their cute little house but NOT THEIR FURNISHINGS. I would post it but they just moved in Saturday and all y'all would be able to see are boxes and stuff everywhere. We all know how that goes, right? I'll post some more after they are settled in.

One of the best things about this house? It's a mere 14 miles from my house. 😁

But wait! Deanie and DrummerBoy also bought their first house so they also say good-bye to flushing money down the rental toilet! What?!

This is their cute little house! I only have one issue with it. It's in Nashville instead of Charleston. 😢 It's still cute, though. And so are they. 😍

There's just one more thing. This kid has a milestone birthday on Saturday. She's going to turn 30. THIRTY. FREAKING. YEARS. OLD. We shall not be discussing how old this makes me. 😲

I'll post the birthday post later but because she's my kid and I love her to pieces...

Happy Birthday Week, Deanie! Enjoy the last week of your 20s! 

Happy and proud don't begin to cover all the feels I have about these milestones!

Shoot, I'm happy and proud just to have the honor of being their mom.



Not a milestone but I did update the Etsy shop this weekend. I'd love it if y'all hopped over there to check it out and let me know what you think. This is such a learning process and I seem to be a slow learner on this particular issue. Ha! I've joined an Etsy sellers FB group and have learned several things, one of which I'll be sharing with y'all later.

CoasterDoodles has had a bit of a facelift!

Last thing! 

The NuNaturals stevia giveaway is on until Thursday! 

Click HERE to enter to win FOUR FREE PRODUCTS 

or just leave a comment on this post that you'd like to enter. 

Happy Thanksgiving, Yo

I'm pretty sure that few words are needed for this post. I thought some of you might enjoy a little humor this week---

This is my sink when I go to bed at night.

This is my sink when I wake up in the mornings. 

Maybe, just maybe, I can relate to this: 

Hope y'all are enjoying Thanksgiving week!  

Thanks to Shelley S and her girls for the inspiration. :)

I Can Top That

I have to admit that, sometimes, when reading about the horror stories of parents traveling with kids, I laugh. Not because I'm a mean person and am taking pleasure from their tales. But because they act like it's the worst thing in the world. The tales from parents of one or two kids just seem so...I don't know, manageable, to me. I raised four. Everything that happened did so-- x4.

"OMG. My youngest threw up repeatedly in the car on the way to the relatives over Christmas. And then my oldest followed suit." Really? It happened to us too. But it was usually Thanksgiving. And it didn't stop at two kids. Nope. THAT was just the beginning. And they didn't just throw up on themselves or a blanket on in my hand. Nope. They threw up all over the place even though we had plastic bags (because who doesn't keep those in the car when you have kids?). AND THEN, it went through the whole family and the relatives. Yeah, fun times. Black Friday took on a whole new meaning that year.

How about the Thanksgiving when I had been telling a certain man that the van (yes, I used to drive a mini-van) sounded as though it was going to throw a rod. I was ignored. We get on the road, about three hours in and BAM! Rod thrown. New engine bought. Thanksgiving saved by the loan of another vehicle from a relative.

How about the trip back from a family gathering of sorts in Georgia and we get on the road home only to have to outrun a freaking tornado??? Scary as hell and exhilarating all at the same time. Especially with four screaming daughters that drowned out the sound of the golf balled sized hail furiously pounding the car.

Or the time that we were headed into uncharted territory with an outdated map and the AC in the car broke and someone didn't stop to ask for directions for about 2 hours and...well, you can take it from there, I'm sure.

What about the time(s) we took the boat out into Bull's Bay and it broke down. And no one was out there. For HOURS. And people were not feeling well. And yes, that would be plural 'times'.

What about a certain someone teaching the daughters how much fun surfing is. And how it's always best just before a hurricane. It's not a trip, but still.

Oh yeah. I've got plenty of tales. Crazy tales. And we lived through each and every one of them. Surprisingly. So you can imagine how comical some of the tales I've heard lately seem.

Now, come on. Let's hear your tales. If you've got kids, you've got tales!

What A Parent Should Be

Or how a parent should be. Who determines (or determined) what kind of parent you are (were going to be)?

Does society dictate your role to you?
Is your parenting based on your own parents methods?
Do you read those stupid parenting books?
Are other parents your role models?
Do you follow your gut?

Maybe your style is (or was) a combination of those things and even more.

I'll tell y'all a little secret about my own parenting style. It was based, basically, on three things:

• Piaget
• My gut
• Doing the opposite of what my parents did- mostly

I LOVED that Piaget studied his own children from the moment they were born. I was bowled over with what a fantastic idea this was. And I loved his conclusions. He was the reason I got my MS in Early Childhood Development. I won't get into the details but I will say that there was no need to read any child development books when my own girls came along. I was all set. And I so enjoyed watching the lovelies through all their developmental stages. Of course, once they reached the ripe old age of the pre-teen years, I was lost. Sort of. So I learned to depend even more upon my---

Gut instincts. I paid attention to my gut WAY more than I did to anything else. I found it to be true that being a student of the lovelies resulted in knowing them thoroughly which resulted in being able to understand their needs, wants, moods, etc. I paid little to no attention to what others had to say or what they did, I trusted my instincts based on my knowledge of each individual daughter. It worked for me. Of course, I did tons of babysitting when I was growing up so I was not a stranger to little ones. And I think that helped ease my mind. When your mind can be eased, things don't seem so daunting.

Ok, that last one is not meant to be mean or anything negative. I just knew that I wanted to do things differently from my parents. They were from a generation where kids were not paid that much attention. Kids were put in front of the television or sent out to play without supervision, anything as long as we didn't bug our parents. Which was ok. Except when it wasn't. We were a generation of kids who realized we weren't being supervised and we tended to take advantage of that fact. Our parents didn't show up at everything we had going on. In their defense, we really didn't have that much going on for them to show up and watch anyway. So I knew I was going to be there for the lovelies and that I was going to expose them to activities in an effort to enable the to find their own, individual niches. And they did.

Those are the three main things that I based my parenting style on IN A NUTSHELL. I could write a freaking dissertation on it but I'll certainly spare y'all that. Basically, this is what worked for me.

Now, share your parenting styles with us!

How Many Is Too Many?

One of my brothers once said something to me along the lines of "...having more than two children is dumb. It you have more than two, you can't give sufficient love to all of them."

He had two. I had four. Yeah, he's not my favorite brother.

It is an interesting question. Is there a number that signifies someone has too many children? I can only speak from my own personal experiences and observations. For example, when I was homeschooling Birdie and DoodleBug in middle school, we met a family with 10 children. TEN. Holy crap. I never could figure out how that mom did it. She was amazing and so was her hubs who was so supportive and involved. The children were lovely--well behaved, happy, smart, active, etc. It was always a pleasure to interact with this family. None of the children seemed to be lacking in time or love from either parent. They were thriving children. No one was starved in the area of love or food or attention...

But then I look at someone like the Octomom and I shudder. Thankfully, I don't believe her to be the norm. I do wonder as to her sanity. But she's not the norm. And, if she was, I would deny it. Vehemently.

I also know families with 5 and 6 children and I find them to be the same as the family I mentioned with 10 children. I just have not, personally, known parents who cannot or do not give their kids plenty of love and attention or provide for them financially just because they have more than one or two children.

I HAVE, on the other hand, known and observed parents who have only one or two children and give them very little attention. These are parents who are self-absorbed either with each other or with themselves and their friends and their own activities. It's sad, but true. It happens. I just have yet to witness it based solely on the number of children one has.

I also know a local woman who takes in foster children and, usually, ends up adopting them. She has made such a difference in the lives of these children. Children who others might not have been so quick to love. This woman is making a difference in multiple lives and has been for as long as I've known her which is going on 20 years. No matter how many children she has in her house at one time (I've never known there to be more than 4 at a time) I've seen them and been around them. They are happy, healthy, loved...

I don't know what the 'real' answer is to this question. But I do believe that, as long as parents are devoted to raising their children in a loving home, the number is not what's important.

Oh, and my brother who made that stupid comment? My four grew up to be healthy, productive, intelligent, dynamic, loving, loyal, humorous, delightful, beautiful women. His two? The mayor and deputy mayor of Dysfunction City.

Family-less Vacations

I've heard about something lately that I'd never even remotely considered when the lovelies were growing up. Apparently, it's ok for moms to go on vacation without their husband and kids.

Alone. On vacation. 

I would have DIED before doing this when the lovelies were little. And most of that has to do with the fact that their dad was not the most attentive of fathers. He was more of a fall-asleep-on-the-couch-and-let-the-party-begin kind of dad. The lovelies loved that.

I didn't. 

Then you have to factor in the fact that I totally enjoyed every minute with the lovelies. We were busy having fun nearly all the time. Raising kids, for me, was BIG FUN. But then, I had great kids. Who didn't suffer with illness (like colic) or severe allergies or any other medical conditions. So, I guess I had it easy.

I have to admit that, when I first heard of moms taking vacations without their families, I went right into judgement mode.

However, when I thought about the colic or food allergies that lead to medical issues or other conditions that can make life extremely difficult when thrown into the mix, I have to say that I understand their need to get away and regroup. I can't imagine how exhausting- physically and emotionally- it must be to have a wee one who is in constant pain from colic and crying, nonstop. As a matter of fact, I doubt'exhausting' does the feeling justice. 

However, looking back from my now empty nest perspective, I believe that I, personally, would now be feeling something along the lines of guilt had I taken any solo vacations. Though, maybe not the kind of guilt you think. It would be more related to my need to control things. Everything. And, while it's way less (and I mean WAY less) now than it's ever been in my entire life, I can honestly say that it would have been the main reason for any guilty feelings from a solo vacation.

I did enjoy every minute of raising the lovelies. I did take my 'job' seriously. And I did love being in control. The 'in charge' person. It was fabulous.

Once the nest emptied out, I was way less interested in being in control in most areas. I think the control part while the lovelies were growing up stemmed from genetics and the fact that Mr. Negative had so many issues and ties with his family that I didn't want them having any say-so. (That turned out to be a good call on my part.) My controlling nature was in place more for protection of the lovelies than in controlling the actual children themselves. I made sure their decisions were their own. That they developed opinions on their own. That they were exposed to a variety of options. That they were allowed every opportunity to discover, explore, enjoy, grow, thrive...

Looking back now, would I have tried the family-less vacation? I don't think so. But I do understand how some parents need a break from time to time to recharge. Life with children can be exhausting when they don't have extra stresses to deal with. Though, admittedly, I'm not sure I'll quite understand when someone takes a family-less vacation just to get away from family life. Of course, they didn't ask my opinion now, did they? :)

Work Out Moms

When the first two lovelies came along, Breezy and Deanie, I was pretty good about walking for exercise. I also made use of a few exercise channels- Denise Whatshername was on Lifetime and so was that dark haired guy- forgot his name...oh yeah, Gilad, or something like that. Anyway, I did work out.

Then Birdie and DoodleBug came along. Was I still working out? Sort of. I moved on to the videos- Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies and such. I even teamed up with a friend to do some self-made exercises. There were the two times I tried a gym that provided child care and the Body and Soul workout offered at our church.

I sweated to those oldies about three times. The friend team up workouts lasted less than five months. The gyms lasted less than one month each. Everyone quit the Body and Soul classes.

My biggest problem? Commitment.

My biggest problem now? Being overweight.

Now it's going to take way longer to get into shape and get fit than it ever would have when the lovelies were growing up.

Sure, life got busier and busier the older each daughter got. Their involvements were so time consuming that I ran herethereandeverywhere every day of the week. But that should not have been used as an excuse. I could have fit some sort of exercise in every day had I just put forth the effort. I did not.

It seems, these days, that there is a myriad of ways young mothers can take advantage of getting/staying fit. My suggestion is that they latch on to the way that works for them (or multiple ways) and never let go.

Start a group where you all go for walks/runs together and, if there are multiple children in each family, take turns watching the kids while the others go for the walk/run and then switch. No one would have to watch the kids more than once a week if you work it out right.

Partner with your spouse- take turns working out while the other watches the little blessing(s).

Find something that works and then get out there and DO SOMETHING.

Don't fool around and wait and end up in the shape I'm in now.

Plus, you'll be much better examples of healthy, fitful living for your children than I ever was for the lovelies. The pay off is HUGE for you and all those little eyes that are watching your every move.

Did you take time to workout while your kids were little?

The Movie of My Life

Would bore y'all to tears. I'm not even kidding.

I wasn't bored at all. I was quite busy most of my life between growing up, going to college, partying enjoying life, raising four daughters...But, nothing spectacular happened during my years. Nothing that could be considered exciting or eventful or world changing.

Nothing outstanding happened. We simply enjoyed a 'normal' (whatever that means) life. The lovelies came into the world and were loved to pieces. I loved every minute of it. And then, in a split second, it was over.

My life prior to the lovelies might interest some but, for the most part, it would probably shock and appall most. I was more of a wild child than I like to admit. Until I compare it with the husband and his siblings. Then mine seems rather tame. Mild. Conservative.

There's something to be said for normalboringuneventful. I find it comforting. I would rather have it the way it was than to have a dreaded disease hit one of us or a horrible crime affect us or something equally dreadful come along. And I'd like to keep it this way.

It's doubtful that I could have handled most of the things some others have experienced. I just don't do crisis very well. I can handle it fine when it's happening to someone else or at school. But I am not good when it happens at home.

For example, my grandfather passed away 34 years ago. I'm still not over it. Same with my grandmother.

The only exciting parts of the movie of my life might be the scenes that feature my temper. It used to be off the charts. In my defense (read: my excuse), I do get it from my dad AND I usually had to be provoked. Sort of. No worries. It's been under control (for the most part) for YEARS. But it was intense at the time.

And then there's the birth of Birdie that nearly took place on the interstate. That was pretty intense.

And the time I teamed up with the neighbors and scared the crap out of 10 second grade girls by making them think that Bloody Mary showed up at the sleep over. (Honestly--Best. Fun. EVER!).

And the time we had to pull over in the car on the way home from GA to let a tornado pass.

And the time DoodleBug got a stomach bug on the way to my dad's for Thanksgiving and threw up in the car. All. The. Way. Up. There.

And the time Hurricane Hugo came through so we went to my grandmother's house in the upstate and a tree fell on the house.

And the time DoodleBug gave herself a haircut. At the age of 5. While Breezy was babysitting.

And the time Breezy got the fish keychain stuck on her finger. In high school. And the shop teacher had to cut it off.

And the time Birdie thought it would be hilarious to hide from me under a clothes rack in a store when she was 2. Trust me, it wasn't the least bit funny.

I could go on. But y'all get the idea.

Regardless, for the most part, the movie would be dull.

And I'm ok with that.

What would the movie of your life be like?

The Craziness Abounds

It came. It went.

In record time.

We had such FUN!

Even though the husband did not complete his part of the prep and now I have to replace two rugs in my house. Nothing new there.

It was still a really good time!

Then engagement party is over but the planning continues. Until it gets REALLY nuts around here, I thought I'd share some photos---

Deanie set up the table with tea lights, hydrangeas and oranges.

I'm not really sure when we've had a gathering without shrimp. Engagement parties are no different.

My brother made it down! Doodlebug LOVES her Uncle!

My boys (from other mothers...LOL)-- BestSonInLawEVER on the right and IntendedSonInLaw on the left.

That's IntendedSonInLaw's mom and his niece- B. His mother tripped and fell earlier in the day but was still able to make it! What a trooper!

That is Birdie holding Baby L who belongs to one of the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

THAT is Baby L's foot. How stinkin' cute is that?!

Baby L smiled at Deanie---

The happy couple!

The bridesmaids and flower girl! (L-R: IntendedSonInLaw's sister, mother of Baby L, BFF of Birdie since they were 3 years old, Birdie, DoodleBug, Deanie, Breezy and, in front, B)

The silly shot of the girls...with a photo bomb by BestSonInLawEVER.

Y'all know my girls get crazy sometimes...well, apparently, so do their friends. That's a photo bomb by Baby L's mom. LOVE IT!

A few folks milling about in the backyard--

Corn hole anyone?

Just happened to catch this shot of IntendedSonInLaw's dad with B.

The lights are showing up now---

Time for a toast from the sisters--

It was a great toast!

They're off to a great start!

Sorry I've been so slack. Work has me crazy with MAP testing. It's two more weeks long and I'm already sick of it.

Hope to be back in touch soon!

What's a Temper Tantrum?

Seriously. The lovelies never had them. Never.

I've seen my girls have them as they've gotten older. But I think it's called PMS after a certain age. And, later, menopause. Ha!

But temper tantrums as little kids? Nope. And here's why--

• I didn't take them out when they were tired
• I didn't take them out when they were hungry
• I didn't raise spoiled brats

I've heard some mothers say things akin to, "Temper tantrums are just to be expected when you have little ones." And, "Temper tantrums are like breathing, a part of life with little ones." Really? I never expected them. And I raised four of the little darlings.

Now, I'm not saying that I was this amazingly perfect mother. Far from it. BUT, I am saying that, if a little kid is having temper tantrums, and does not have a diagnosis of autism or something, there is at least a 95% chance that it's the fault of the parent, not the little one's. 

I see mothers in the grocery store 'ignoring' the temper tantrums of their tired and/or hungry little bits. If they could see the expression on their faces--which read something like, "Holy crap I wish you'd stop that freaking noise and I hope to God that I can maintain my composure because I want everyone to think that I'm a spectacular mother (although some of them actually appear Valium induced), maybe they'd stop torturing their kids and let them eat/sleep before they bring them out shopping which no little kid enjoys anyway. And, if the kid is hungry AND tired, you're really in for it ladies. 

The little ones who aren't tired or hungry but are still engaging in a tantrum are still not to blame. Why? Because the mothers are the adults. They are the in charge person. They HAVE the power. But they choose to let little Johnny or Debbie have the power. It's like these mothers are scared of their kids or something. 

Here's the thing- parents have to be students of their children. We are around our darlings all the time and we have the ability to make smart decisions. Knowing that it's close to lunch time and taking your kid out shopping anyway is NOT a smart decision. Dare I just come out and say- it's stupid? Cause it is. 

When we have kids, our agendas go out the window. And we should throw them out willingly. We're the adults. We know better. And, if I see too many more of these self-important mothers out there with kids flailing about, I might not be able to contain my sentiments. 

And you haven't seen a temper tantrum until you see that. 

How Do You Make a Sister Smile?

What happens when the sister who is the same size in clothes and shoes as you are lives nine hours away?

You get this in the mail:

And when you open them up, you get these:

And these:

And it makes the left at home sister do this:

Gosh but I love daughters!

Are Y'all Familiar With Frustration?

I was an empty nester for four years. I had gotten to the place where I quite enjoyed my empty nest. And, as I was warned, someone moved back home.

Don't misunderstand. This isn't a bad thing. I'm totally serious when I tell the lovelies that this will always be their home. It will be. And, if I ever move, wherever that is will be their home. There is never a time that one of them will ever be turned away. That's just silly to even think about.

Not that is hasn't been an adjustment (again) but, having one of the lovelies home has been fun. We've enjoyed being together and talking and laughing. We go places together, watch movies...it really is fun. She's funny and fun; always on the go; a great conversationalist; energetic; enthusiastic; mostly in a good mood...so many great and wonderful things about having a daughter move back home.

However (because there's always a 'but'), there is a down side.

Is it my loss of privacy all day? Nope
Is it the loss of quiet, solitude? Nope.
Is it the loss of only cooking for two (which I had FINALLY gotten the hang of)? Nope.

Do y'all remember the room that we redecorated in November last year?

The one that looked like this and gave us HELL to redo (you can read about it HERE if you'd like)?

But that ended up looking like this:

And then I painted the furniture that my parents had when I was growing up and put it in there and then Birdie move back for five months?

Right.

Well, here's what it looks like now:

Now, I'm not a neat freak per se though I could be described as neat freak-ISH. But this is driving me NUTS!

My stress level has increased because, even though the door is kept closed, I KNOW what lies beyond. And it's SCARY! And, yes, we had that talk before she moved back in. You know, the one about how things can't be all messy like when she was in high school and how much keeping things neat and clean reduce my stress level and all that? Yeah, that one.

I suppose you could call me a Martha and DoodleBug a Mary. But, then, what do you call her father--from whom she gets this messy gene?

Oh they know how to smell the roses. And drink the coffee. And read the paper. And talk and visit and go.

I guess I'm always a Martha because the Mary and the man leave me no other alternative. I don't dare leave it- I've tried that. Things just pile up more. And more.

Just remember, if you don't see or hear from me in a while, I've either left town or I went in that room and got eaten. :)

Tell me your story of a kid moving back into the nest.

They Did, I Didn't

When I was growing up, I had INFINITE HOURS of unsupervised time. My cousins and I could go anywhere in town and play. We didn't have to tell our parents every single place we were going though they knew where we started.

No one ever bothered us or made us feel unsafe. We went from house to house and yard to yard and store to store---well, just one store really, the drugstore where we could sit at the counter and get cherry cokes which were absolutely delightful!

We played and played and played. Rarely, if ever, would you find us in front of the television during the day light hours.

Some of that was  the same way for the lovelies when they were growing up. Rarely if ever would you find them in front of the television during the day. And they played and played and played. But they were NOT unsupervised.

Times were calling for more caution when the lovelies were coming along.

My parents had no reason to worry about child abductions or various other things that could happen to unsupervised kids. Ours was a small town with relatively little bad stuff going on.

By the time Breezy was in kindergarten, there was a child abductor in our area. His picture was posted on the news and his van was seen in a neighborhood close to ours.

Do y'all know when I first remember hearing about such things as child abductors. About the time Breezy was two years old. I hadn't heard of them or just hadn't paid attention until that time.

Did the lovelies miss out on their childhood because of increased risks of unsupervised play? No. They played a lot of the same games I did when I was growing up. They went just about everywhere they wanted to go. They had friends over ALL THE TIME. They participated in activities. They did it all. It's just that they did it with me along--and, no, I wasn't creepy about it or overprotective. It's not like I hovered.  

Looking back, I think that having me around all the time and involved in everything they did was one thing that made us all so close. It kept me alert and I became an adept learner of each lovely individually.

They may not have the freedom to roam alone as I did--I didn't even let them walk the quarter mile from school to home...though that was mainly because of the teenage drivers in the neighborhood who thought that it was fun to pretend like they were going to hit walkers with their cars...idiots. BUT, they were lacking in play time or participation in any activities AND they got to have their mom right there alongside them cheering them on, giving support and encouragement...

So, while my parents did allow us the freedom to roam independently, I was not able, or willing, to allow it with the lovelies. And I'm pretty sure that their childhood might have been even richer than my own because of it.

Were you more watchful over your kids than your parents were over you?

Vacation or Staycation?

One thing we've rarely ever done is go on vacation.

When I was growing up, my family went on vacation every summer. To the beach. It was great fun and we all just had a marvelous time relaxing and playing in the sun and surf. My grandparents rented the same house, right across the street from the beach, every year and all of us went.

My parents were into camping and in the fall our family joined with other families and trekked to the mountains for weekend camping. This was just as much fun as the summer trips to the beach.

I remember our vacations being fun, relaxing, sometimes exciting...but never boring. And always as something to look forward to doing- even the three hour drive from our town to the beach that started at 4:00 AM. Every. Single. Year.

Our vacation days were spent getting up early and hitting the beach. We returned to the house for lunch and went right back to the beach for the afternoon. After supper, Mother or Grandmother would apply Noxema to our sunburns and we would all sit around talking and/or playing games, sometimes sitting on the screened in porch in the big rockers, but ALWAYS laughing. Loads and loads of laughing. Once during vacation week we headed to Myrtle Beach (only one beach away from where we stayed) and went to the Pavillion and the next night we went to eat Calabash seafood. Standing in line for over an hour. Every. Single. Year.

Once I had a family of my own, I soon realized the reality of vacations after a whopping three times.

• Vacations cost money. And we didn't have much. We gave up a double income for me to stay home and raise the lovelies. Probably not a great idea considering the husband has never been a worker bee who makes a lot of money. (I often tell people we are THE blue collar family in our town---not that far from the truth).
• Vacations are more work for the mom than just staying at home. Seriously. Not. Fair.
• Vacations mean riding in the car for HOURS. With four daughters. Enough said. 

What does this mean, besides we did not take vacations? It means that I learned to appreciate staycations. And this is what the lovelies and I had every summer.

It wasn't difficult to discover the reality of our staycations:

• They cost very little. 
• The amount of work is actually less than during the school year- no getting up and rushing out the door for school, packing school lunches, rushing to soccer/dance/cello/piano/etc.
• It's quite easy when your house is only 3.1 miles from the beach (except for all the stuff you take with you when you have little kids- all their fun toys and food and drinks in that Little Tykes wagon that is great until you hit that hot, loose, deep sand). 
• If we tired of the beach we headed either to my mother's or my dad's house--both of whom live on a lake (in different states THANK GOD) which is just like staying at home OR spent the afternoon with friends who either had a pool or pool access.
• People won't really bother you if you just don't answer the door or the phone. :)
• There were plenty of free community activities for the kids.

Now that the nest is empty (well, sort of, DoodleBug did move back in recently), I still appreciate staycations. Though the thought of a vacation BY MYSELF is quite appealing.

I envision renting a beach house or maybe even driving up to the mountains and renting a cabin for a week and writing, writing, writing and writing. I might even throw a little hiking and nature walking in just to mix it up. :) 

Even when I'm just staying home, the summer days can be spent any way I choose. I like this. I can---

• home improve
• clear out and throw away  junk
• read
• write
• watch movies
• go to the beach
• go on a nature walk
• take pictures
• work in the garden
• can goodies from the garden
• make one of those flower towers like Deb did. 

I can do all that and more. Or, not. It's up to me. Totally. I like this very much.

When it comes right down to it, I wouldn't trade my vacations with my family when I was a kid for anything. At the same time, I enjoyed just as much or more having staycations with the lovelies when they were growing up. Certainly our location is a bit more conducive to staycations than some other areas and for this I am eternally grateful. And as an empty nester, I could really go either way. I'll have to try a vacation first. I'll keep you posted. :)

What do you prefer- vacation or staycation?

Reinventing Summer

Empty nesters are masters of reinventing. We reinvent various aspects of our lives all the time. We have to. When the last of our brood grows up and moves out to peruse their first real independence in the world either while attending the college of their choice or going directly into the work force, we are left, after the shock of the quiet wears off, finding ways to fill the empty hours. We have no choice other than to reinvent everything from our daily lives to those times of year that centered around family gatherings. Seasons are no exception. As a matter of fact, summer can be one of the toughest to reinvent.

Gone are the days of piling everyone into the car and driving the three miles to the beach every summer day. Gone are the days of hosting neighborhood, family cookouts and enjoying the kids running around chasing one another and fireflies. Gone are the days of the high pitched shrieks when the cold water of the sprinkler hits home. Gone are the lazy days of lounging around telling stories because it’s too hot to go outside. Gone are the days of playing charades when the power goes out during a summer thunderstorm. Gone are the days where every steamy summer second is chock-full of some sort of family fun related activity complete with excited childhood chatter, giggles and shrieks. 

What’s an empty nester to do? It is simple- we reinvent. We change our perspective. We readjust. And, slowly but surely, we begin to see what it can hold when we can enjoy summer without every single activity being child centered. And we realize, it’s not a bad thing at all.

My empty nest summers are now filled with redecorating, visiting and hosting guests, gardening and canning; photography; reading and writing; walking on the beach and, maybe most importantly, going where I want to go when I want to go. 

Sound boring? It's not. After raising four spectacular daughters, a slow pace is appreciated. So is the quiet. Besides, my summer days are filled with self-discoveries that lead to even more reinventing of summertime fun. Because, when your nest is empty, you have time. Time to learn, to explore and to do.

Summer still holds fun in an empty nest. It’s just different fun. Fun that you will come to treasure almost as much as those summers past. And there will be more times than you might think when the family will visit and surround you with all that summer time noise that will still bring such joy to your soul. If your nest is empty, embrace it. Go forth and reinvent your summer to be one to remember.     

Monday Listicles--Planning a Wedding

It's Memorial Day and a day off from school! Which means we are now down to only 9 school days left before summer vacay! WHAT?! WooHoo!

Monday also means Monday Listicles and THIS Monday marks Stasha's 100th listicle post! 

This week's list is all about free styling it! NEXT week the list will be The Top 10 Things You Notice About People.

All you have to do to join in with this week's list is click on the button! 

10 Tips for Empty Nesters on How to Keep Positive While Planning a Wedding

1. Regarding the money. Everything is overpriced. EVERYTHING. I swear it's a scam. But, so what? It's your daughter's wedding. It's going to cost money. AND, sometimes, the cost of something won't be near as much as you thought it would be! 
2. Tap into family and friend resources. There will be some who want to help- let them! With the understanding that this is your daughter's wedding so it's all about what SHE wants. If they want to do it their way instead- tell them NO.
3. The waiting sucks. We went out for the first time to get ideas for the bridesmaids dresses and start trying on wedding dresses. Which means we did a lot of waiting. All. Day. Long. BUT- if you take sisters/BFFs/relatives with you, you get to focus on the stories, smiles, laughter and tears instead of how long it's taking.
4. When you feel the need to vent, (you know, when your daughter wants something that horrifies you or a vendor totally pisses you off) do it with your Bestie (some of you might be lucky enough to have a husband willing to help in this area) or a close relative--someone who will keep it between the two of you. NEVER vent to/at your daughter!
5. Remember, you want to be the one your daughter can turn to for support NOT the one she runs away from because of your negativity.  
6. Remember that it's all about HER and HER day. Not yours. You had your chance YEARS ago. 
7. Don't let the list of things to do freak you out. Even though it may seem like there aren't enough hours in the day, there are! Everything will get done and it will all be well worth it!
8. Look forward to and totally immerse yourself in the wonderful girls' weekends you will host. Remember, if you are being all negative and controlling, you won't get to enjoy anything because they'll leave you out of as much as they possibly can.
9. Remember, it's just a wedding. If you start feeling overwhelmed/stressed/negative/angry---STEP BACK and regroup. 
10. Make up your mind that every single thing that goes into the planning is going to be fun and then embrace each task/meeting/event as such. 

Gotta give a shout out to BELLA BRIDESMAIDS (downtown Charleston, SC) and BRIDALS BY JODI (North Charleston, SC) for being so sweet and helpful and just downright wonderful! 

AND- Birdie found her dress! We had appointments at four different places (waitingwaitingwaiting) - she found two fantastic choices for bridesmaids dresses at Bella Bridesmaids and then, at our last stop of the (long) day, she found THE dress (thank you so much Betsy at Bridals by Jodi). 

See what a positive attitude can result in at the end of the day? 

When They Come Back

Most of you have heard that there is no shortage of good things happening in our family right now--

• Birdie's engagement (contest for the new SILs nickname is forthcoming).
• DoodleBug's graduation (which is Saturday--Happy Mother's Day to ME!).
• DoodleBug's upcoming trip to Europe!
• DoodleBug moving back home for a while...Wait, WHAT? 

Yep, I've got one back home.

My first discovery? I had adjusted to an empty nest.

My second discovery? It was easy to readjust to not having an empty nest.

That's right. It took 4 years to adjust to an empty nest and about one second to adjust to having one back home. Go figure.

Of course rearranging furniture sucked. So did finding room for all the stuff we don't have room for in our tiny house. But it's working out nicely.

It was easier when Birdie moved back in for just a few months because she had a storage unit.

DoodleBug's storage unit is our house.

And, there's another issue.

Having DoodleBug at home has resulted in a new television program addiction (and I would like to say that partial fault goes to Joyce at From This Side of the Pond for even talking about this program in the first place...Gee, thanks, Joyce). It's The Voice. We're hooked.

Every Monday and Tuesday night, DoodleBug snuggles up in my bed with me and Tucker (the husband ducks down into the man cave- which is usually safer than getting in the middle a girl time) and we watch (and critique) each singer--not harshly though because...well, you've never heard either of us try to carry a tune, so...

What attracted us? The coaches. We love them.

And then there's the whole time spent together. With one exception.

Let me interject a piece of information here: DoodleBug and I also spend time doing other things. Fitness related things. Her idea. Oh, fun.

No, really it is. Every other day we run. And then, on the off days, we run sprints. It's torture. Pure and simple. Afterwards, she makes sure I get in my 50 pushups.

See? Torture.

Ok. Back to the (now ritualistic) watching of The Voice. Before we snuggle down to watch, DoodleBug begins her (also now ritualistic...and evil) chanting of "Want a Frosty and some fries, Mom?/How about a Frosty and some fries, Mom?" Until I relent. And give her some money.

And then we eat. And snuggle down. And watch The Voice.

We've also solve many of the world's problems.

And Tucker might really enjoy getting his belly rubbed.

Furniture, Frosty and fries, snuggle time, fitness torture, television watching...daughters ROCK! 

 

Sisters

Y'all knew it was coming, didn't you? Sure you did.

It might not have had I not gotten the alphabetic order of 'S' and 'T' mixed up. Sheesh.

Anyway, sisters (aka, the lovelies), in random photos---

I'm linking this post to the nineteenth post of the April, A-Z Challenge!

Just click the badge below to visit other participants. 

Ok, let's see what y'all came up with for the letter 'S'!