Lacking that Tune in the Proverbial Bucket

Lovely2 has one of the most beautiful singing voices I've ever heard. When she auditioned for high school chorus I was standing outside the door. I hear the most gorgeous voice and wondered who was singing. It was Deanie. She still sounds like an angel when she sings.

Now, for the rest of the Lovelies and myself? We can barely carry a tune in a bucket. Well, Lovely1 and Lovely3 can, sort of, but Lovely4 and me? Nope. Guess who loves to sing more than anyone else in the family? That's right. DoodleBug and I.

We try not to expose others to our singing if we can help it but we have been known to let loose when in the car together or separately. The most fun is when we're together though. We might not be able to carry a tune in that bucket, but in our hearts, we've got music. We've got soul. We've got what it takes to sing in our loudest voices. And it's not like we sound like the rocking chair on cat's tail--though we sort of get close.

When we accidentally hit a note right on key we get so excited we sing even louder. But hey, most of the time we do get the lyrics right.

No matter, DoodleBug and I LOVE to sing. We LOVE music. We love to sing together. And I wouldn't have it any other way.



I'm a day late. Again. Goodness. This post is linked to Five Minute Friday.  The prompt this week is: Sing.

Please visit my Etsy shop, CoasterDoodles!
There's a special running through the month of April!
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What's the Best Birthday Gift?

We are gift givers in this family. Which is why I think I lost my mind when I decided that we wouldn't give gifts at Christmas. But I'm not going to talk about that again. You're welcome. Ha!

The lovelies gave a few gifts anyway and they didn't leave out the two birthdays this week. Breezy turned another year older on Wednesday and I am staying the same age today. Because my numbers are getting old.

She's such a goober. :)

That's a, Nothing Bundt Cake in the picture. It was so good. So. Good. White chocolate raspberry. Did y'all know extra icing is an option there? Don't do it. You honestly don't need it. There is ample as it is.

Those wonderful daughters of mine gave me tickets to see Garrison Keillor last night. It was the best way ever to spend a birthday eve! I have loved that man since I first heard about him when I was 17. That means I've loved him for EONS! As a matter of fact, I was so overwhelmed when he walked out on stage, I had to stop myself from tearing up. Ok, I teared up. But I did not cry. So, there.

Keillor talked for a little over 2 hours without stopping. AND he walked on stage right at 7:30 which was the start time! That's unheard of! I love that man! The lovelies said I could take anyone so I decided to take Birdie. While all the lovelies adore Keillor, Birde is nearly obsessed. As I am. Her sisters thought that was a great idea. Plus, I knew it was her idea to get the tickets. :)

I loved every second of the show and we laughed so hard. But not as hard as the lady behind us who almost had a stroke from laughing so hard. She was awesome!

via GIPHY

The money spent on those tickets was money well spent!

Thank you, my lovelies, for the best birthday gift EVER!

We're not getting any snow from this storm. Just rain. Cold rain. Not even sleet or ice. Nothing. So I'm extra glad I got to do something fun for my birthday! Because no snow is not what I would wish for.

Have a wonderful weekend, y'all!

They Did, I Didn't

When I was growing up, I had INFINITE HOURS of unsupervised time. My cousins and I could go anywhere in town and play. We didn't have to tell our parents every single place we were going though they knew where we started.

No one ever bothered us or made us feel unsafe. We went from house to house and yard to yard and store to store---well, just one store really, the drugstore where we could sit at the counter and get cherry cokes which were absolutely delightful!

We played and played and played. Rarely, if ever, would you find us in front of the television during the day light hours.

Some of that was  the same way for the lovelies when they were growing up. Rarely if ever would you find them in front of the television during the day. And they played and played and played. But they were NOT unsupervised.

Times were calling for more caution when the lovelies were coming along.

My parents had no reason to worry about child abductions or various other things that could happen to unsupervised kids. Ours was a small town with relatively little bad stuff going on.

By the time Breezy was in kindergarten, there was a child abductor in our area. His picture was posted on the news and his van was seen in a neighborhood close to ours.

Do y'all know when I first remember hearing about such things as child abductors. About the time Breezy was two years old. I hadn't heard of them or just hadn't paid attention until that time.

Did the lovelies miss out on their childhood because of increased risks of unsupervised play? No. They played a lot of the same games I did when I was growing up. They went just about everywhere they wanted to go. They had friends over ALL THE TIME. They participated in activities. They did it all. It's just that they did it with me along--and, no, I wasn't creepy about it or overprotective. It's not like I hovered.  

Looking back, I think that having me around all the time and involved in everything they did was one thing that made us all so close. It kept me alert and I became an adept learner of each lovely individually.

They may not have the freedom to roam alone as I did--I didn't even let them walk the quarter mile from school to home...though that was mainly because of the teenage drivers in the neighborhood who thought that it was fun to pretend like they were going to hit walkers with their cars...idiots. BUT, they were lacking in play time or participation in any activities AND they got to have their mom right there alongside them cheering them on, giving support and encouragement...

So, while my parents did allow us the freedom to roam independently, I was not able, or willing, to allow it with the lovelies. And I'm pretty sure that their childhood might have been even richer than my own because of it.

Were you more watchful over your kids than your parents were over you?

Wedding Hell...I Mean Planning

The wedding business is a racket. A scam.

Weddings seem to have become a competition of who can throw the showiest event. It's about showing off and drinking and partying and spending money.

I'm not a fan. I wasn't a fan while planning Breezy's (though her's was easier--she knew exactly what she wanted) wedding and, while planning Birdie's, I've found that I am still not a fan.

It's like dragging me kicking and screaming all the way. And you can't even imagine how much restraint it takes on my part to keep my trap shut when a vendor utters something like, "You can do anything you like at our venue to make your love story YOURS." Gag.

But we mothers do things for our kids, don't we?

The last 4 Saturdays have found me doing something wedding related---bridesmaids dress shopping, venue touring, wedding dress shopping, florist consultation, DJ/photobooth meeting, caterer tasting, the cake....it's never ending.

And, while most of the people with whom we meet are very nice, I can't stand it when they spout stupid, rehearsed phrases that they use on everyone. Drives. Me. Nuts. ESPECIALLY when they make such a big deal out of it and then FAIL TO EMAIL YOU THAT CONTRACT INFORMATION.

Which really doesn't matter so much since the kids have changed their minds about the venue. Again.

And then there was the trip to Mens Warehouse to check out the tuxes. Which we found. We also found the PERFECT bow ties to accompany said tuxes which the groom purchased for groomsman gifts. And promptly received a call from the idiot clerk at Mens Warehouse the next day to inform us that the ties weren't available. WTH? HOW did he not have this information when we were in the store????

One of the best things about wedding planning in an empty nest? There aren't any little kids around to hear the words that are coming out of my mouth. Ha!

Oh and then there are  all the vendors you've contacted and set up appointments  with and given the date of the wedding which has now changed back to the original date which had to be changed when two of the venues were not available on the original date. Which means the vendors might not be available now. Good thing no contracts have been signed.

The husband? He's so helpful and supportive.

Him: What are y'all doing today?
Me: Shopping for bridesmaids dresses.
Him: Oh, well I heard on the news that Target is selling bridesmaids dresses and are offering really good deals on them.

Yep. Target. I've seen the dresses. They look like they're from Target. And then, on GMA this week, I saw that Target is offering wedding dresses as well. They showed pictures of designer gowns and then had models come out with the Target equivalents. These dresses were NOTHING alike and the Target ones looked like they were from Target.

Not that I am a supporter of designer brands, but I'm also not a fan of wearing a wedding gown that looks like something K-Mart threw up. It's a wedding NOT prom night.

We do have Birdie's dress. It was created by a designer and it did cost more than the Target dresses. Though is was under $500. Woot!

At this point in time I'm thinking that, since she has procured the dress, they could very well elope.

Or else someone needs to share their Valium prescription.

I'll keep y'all posted.

Monday Listicles--Planning a Wedding

It's Memorial Day and a day off from school! Which means we are now down to only 9 school days left before summer vacay! WHAT?! WooHoo!

Monday also means Monday Listicles and THIS Monday marks Stasha's 100th listicle post! 

This week's list is all about free styling it! NEXT week the list will be The Top 10 Things You Notice About People.

All you have to do to join in with this week's list is click on the button! 

10 Tips for Empty Nesters on How to Keep Positive While Planning a Wedding

1. Regarding the money. Everything is overpriced. EVERYTHING. I swear it's a scam. But, so what? It's your daughter's wedding. It's going to cost money. AND, sometimes, the cost of something won't be near as much as you thought it would be! 
2. Tap into family and friend resources. There will be some who want to help- let them! With the understanding that this is your daughter's wedding so it's all about what SHE wants. If they want to do it their way instead- tell them NO.
3. The waiting sucks. We went out for the first time to get ideas for the bridesmaids dresses and start trying on wedding dresses. Which means we did a lot of waiting. All. Day. Long. BUT- if you take sisters/BFFs/relatives with you, you get to focus on the stories, smiles, laughter and tears instead of how long it's taking.
4. When you feel the need to vent, (you know, when your daughter wants something that horrifies you or a vendor totally pisses you off) do it with your Bestie (some of you might be lucky enough to have a husband willing to help in this area) or a close relative--someone who will keep it between the two of you. NEVER vent to/at your daughter!
5. Remember, you want to be the one your daughter can turn to for support NOT the one she runs away from because of your negativity.  
6. Remember that it's all about HER and HER day. Not yours. You had your chance YEARS ago. 
7. Don't let the list of things to do freak you out. Even though it may seem like there aren't enough hours in the day, there are! Everything will get done and it will all be well worth it!
8. Look forward to and totally immerse yourself in the wonderful girls' weekends you will host. Remember, if you are being all negative and controlling, you won't get to enjoy anything because they'll leave you out of as much as they possibly can.
9. Remember, it's just a wedding. If you start feeling overwhelmed/stressed/negative/angry---STEP BACK and regroup. 
10. Make up your mind that every single thing that goes into the planning is going to be fun and then embrace each task/meeting/event as such. 

Gotta give a shout out to BELLA BRIDESMAIDS (downtown Charleston, SC) and BRIDALS BY JODI (North Charleston, SC) for being so sweet and helpful and just downright wonderful! 

AND- Birdie found her dress! We had appointments at four different places (waitingwaitingwaiting) - she found two fantastic choices for bridesmaids dresses at Bella Bridesmaids and then, at our last stop of the (long) day, she found THE dress (thank you so much Betsy at Bridals by Jodi). 

See what a positive attitude can result in at the end of the day? 

Listicles of the Great---Me? Ha!

It's Monday and time to join Stasha over at The Good Life for Monday Listicles!

Each week Stasha gives us a theme for our lists. This week, we have list 10 reasons why we're great. I can easily tell y'all why the lovelies are great but when I have to turn it around and talk about myself...well, that's just not me. So, in the spirit of the fun, I asked the lovelies (via text message)--"I am doing a fun blog hop thingy about 10 reasons I'm great. Mine is going to be 10 reasons the lovelies think I'm great because I know all of you think that I am great...so give me a couple of reasons why you think I AM so great." 

Let me tell you that the Christmas season is the BEST time to ask your kids this question. The sucking up is at an all time high. 

 All you have to do to join the fun is click on the link or the button! 

Ten Reasons Why The Lovelies Think I'm Great.  

Apparently-

1. I don't judge.(This really should be worded, I TRY not to judge).

2. I am always there for the lovelies no matter what. (I think that's called being a mom).

3. I am persistent. I don't give up no matter how frustrated I get or how many times I say I am going to give up. I see things through. (Um...stubborn?)

4. I am completely honest about just about everything. (Ok, I do try to do this.). 

5. I always speak my mind and stand up for what's right. (Are they saying that I am obnoxious and opinionated? Oh. Well, maybe..)

6. I am not influenced by the opinions of others.(Right. This one is right on the money.)

7.  I have a contagious laugh. (Because my kids are so darn funny.).

8. I always help people who need it. (This one's in the genes. None of us can escape it.).

9. I have a heart for the under-dog/misunderstood/helpless.(Another gene thing.).

10. I am not dictated by social protocol. (Which is really odd for a southerner.)

See what I mean? The Christmas season is the perfect time to ask your kids for a list like this.

What would be on the list of why your kids think you are great? Go ahead. Ask them! After all, they do have a Christmas list. 
 

Life Lessons Along the Way Part 1: Go with the flow

Once upon a time, I had an agenda every single day.  Without fail.  A lovely, strict schedule of what to do when.  It served me quite well and I enjoyed it.  I worked within its structured time slots with peace of mind and completed need-to-dos BECAUSE doing this left me with plenty of time for all those want-to-dos!  Every day of this self-imposed, agenda-run life served me quite well all the way through grad school.   And it continued serving me well until the day the first child arrived-a fact to which many new moms (and dads) can bear witness.  Indeed, January, 1985, was the beginning of the end of mine AND Hub’s personal agendas as well as our ‘couples’ agenda.  We found ourselves thrown under the bus under new management.  You would think that, coupled with this realization, would come easy readjustment.  You would be wrong.  We were just arrogant stupid naïve enough to think we could outwit our new little blessing.  We weren’t going to succumb blindly to this new set of circumstances. It was a hard lesson for us to learn.  However, 3 more daughters and years later- when they were all involved in their various activities outside the house, we threw up our hands and surrendered completely to GOING WITH THE FLOW (yes, we fought it that long).

First of all, from the moment we had the first child, it did become all about her.  It was time to put ourselves on hold for about 18 years (which we realized would be stretched into Godknowshowmanyyears with the arrival of each additional blessing) and focus on our precious little one.  And it really was about her…and then her sister…and then her other sister…and then one more sister.  We became so involved in their agendas we almost forgot that we ever HAD agendas of our own.  Nothing the darling four were ever involved in started on time.  NEVER.  Nothing ever ended on time either—especially BAND (thank you McGrew).  AND switching days was so commonplace that sticking with an original plan could have been easily seen as the exception rather than the rule.  But, things got done.  Games were played.  Performances were presented.  Practices were held.  Lessons were taught.  And we all learned to GO WITH THE FLOW.

I’m not talking about the kind of go with the flow that results in a negative—becoming lackadaisical, lazy, or disrespectful.  I mean the lessons learned that proved to be helpful on several fronts.  For example, we learned that spending time with others and making new friendships was worth the time.  We learned patience with one another and with others.  We learned that our way was our way and their way was their way and that that was ok.  We learned to slow down and smell those proverbial roses.  We learned to dance in the rain.  Together.  As a family.

And, now that the nest is empty, going with the flow is still active when there is something going on with the girls.  But it’s quickly losing its appeal.  We no longer  have to take anyone anywhere or be at very many events and Hubs and I are beginning to develop our own agendas again.  Interesting thing though— whether the focus is on home improvement, places to go, or sitting around watching television-- our individual agendas now are geared more towards a couple agenda.  At least up until the point where Hubs does something annoying (you know like talk during a movie and then ask, “What did he say?” Really?) at which point my personal agenda comes alive.  Seriously, I don’t recall him being that annoying before the nest emptied…or was I just too busy to notice?  Nevertheless, it is rather enjoyable just knowing that we CAN have personal AND couple agendas once again.

At least until grandchildren arrive.