Beginning to End- Adjust

If there's one thing participation in the A-Z Challenge does to a person it's making the fact words don't have the meaning you thought they did abundantly clear. I was searching for my letter A day word to explain how my theme won't be a true theme because if I stick to one theme I may or may not finish the challenge. I am all over the place in just about everything I do and while that seems chaotic and crazy to others it's my norm, it's what works for me but trying to find a word beginning with the letter A that holds just the right meaning didn't work out and became a challenge in and of itself so I decided to go a different route.

That being said, my word today (minus a theme) is, ADJUST.

Every empty nester out there knows how it is to have to adjust to the nest being empty. I've talked about it here so many times and the chats with friends near and far about it have been even more numerous because that's exactly what having an empty nest is- a time to adjust. We have to adjust ourselves to a new era, one without kids running around the house making messes and yelling and arguing and laughing and sharing and all the things our kids do as they grow and flourish under our watchful eyes. Even those of us who try to prepare ourselves for the emptying of the nest have to adjust to the quiet and the time we suddenly have on our hands. Some of us decide to enter the workforce or change our career paths, some try redecorating/renovating our homes, some try organizing the tons of accumulated items left untouched over the course of raising the kids, some join clubs, some pick up hobbies, some take time to focus on themselves and improve their health and fitness...regardless of what we choose to do to help us we do have to make a choice as we adjust to a new phase.

Throughout our lives we adjust to different phases- we adjust from childhood to adolescence to adulthood to middle age to old age. We adjust to life without loved ones as their time comes to go ahead to the next life. We adjust to new situations, new events, new places, new people who come and go.

We find ourselves adjusting to big and small things in our lives and sometimes we ease into the next situation or the new thing or person and other times we fight the adjustment period tooth and nail.

I find the little adjustments to be the most annoying and difficult to handle and I have to wonder if that little fact is related to my not being as grateful as I need to be. I'll admit I do not love being inconvenienced or interrupted and I can give specific examples and the reasons behind them but that's just making excuses so we'll move on. Is self-awareness something to adjust to? Yep. And adjusting to that self-awareness is not easy because wouldn't we all prefer to see someone without those petty traits when we look in the mirror?

I actually believe the problem is not adjusting. Yes, it can be difficult but it is doable. The problem pops up when we can't find a way to adjust due to depression or hanging onto the sadness once it becomes like a comfort zone because we do find comfort in those feelings even though it's not healthy or because we're too embarrassed or don't want to ask for help. The thing I've learned is, go ahead and ask because more likely than not someone else is feeling that same way.

Of course, the times when adjustment is a piece of cake are my favorites. Like becoming a grandparent. Y'all had to know that was coming, right? Haha!

I have to say that other than becoming a parent to each of my four daughters, becoming a grandparent is the best thing EVER! And the adjustment was a breeze. Even when they come for days at a time without their mommies. Yep, that happened this past weekend but that's a post for a different day. I will leave y'all with a sneak peek--

Can. You. Even?

Until tomorrow...because it's going to take the rest of today to figure out my B word. (B word...heehee)

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What I Learned from 9 Days with Baby M

Oh yes. This grandma was schooled. I had time to prepare- nearly 2 months. I thought I was ready. It wasn't like I wasn't familiar with Baby M and her schedule since I've been her daily care provider for the first 12 months of her sweet life. But I soon discovered it really is vastly different when her parents pick her up at the end of the day vs her staying with me overnight. I also discovered how old a toddler can make you feel. But we made it through and we did have such a fun time together!

I've got a few tips to make extended visits with a grand-toddler go smoothly-

1. Make sure you have some help. 9 days with Baby M gave me an ever so slight look into the life of a single parent. How? I was the lone stranger when it came to my 9 days with the sweetest granddaughter on the planet. The help I was assured of never happened. I know part of my exhaustion was due to my age but I also know that this sweet girl has exhausted even her parents so... I thought about single parents and how they add to being the sole caretaker of their kiddos a full-time job, some of them with 2 or 3 jobs. HOW DO THEY DO IT? Their resolve must be off the charts. When do they eat? When do they sleep? When do they just sit down for a minute? Are single parents the ones who coined the phrase, "I'll sleep when I'm dead"? Now, NashvilleDaughter and DrummerBoy did come in over the Labor Day weekend and she was a tremendous help. The other two aunties? Well, one has a newborn and the other one caught a case of strep throat from her first-grade students. The one other adult who pledged to help simply didn't. If you have a significant other of any sort who lends a hand, is there for support and encouragement, go hug them right now and tell them how much you appreciate them.

2.  Maybe don't volunteer for the task while you are caring for an aging parent in your home. Or maybe do. As it turned out, having Baby M around for 9 days showed Mother she is even stronger and coming along even better than we all thought including her! She even got to the point of being able to bend down and pick up toys while I was putting Baby M down for naps and the night. She had no idea she could do it but just decided to try. Who knew?! The physical therapist was blown away and immediately upped Mother's exercises. Mother did meet her 8-week goals in 4 weeks so I guess we should have guessed she could do more but you want to be careful not to overdo. One day she showered, folded her clothes, did her exercises, and picked up toys and her oxygen level never went below 94. And the laughing at and sheer delight we took in watching Baby M made the days so sweet even though we were tired. 

3.  Know that whatever her parents tell you about her nighttime schedule will not be the same while she's at your house. That's just the way it is with grand-loves so delight in your time
instead of being concerned about schedules. Grandma's house is for fun, not schedules.

4.  Go ahead and give them that popsicle if you want to. Seriously, it's not like they get treats like that all the time but when they're at Grandma's house well, that's part of being there! BTW, Baby M LOVED the popsicle. Also BTW, the other grandma came by and brought donuts one day. Oh yes, we did!

5.  Speaking of the other grandma, if you live close enough open your door to her. Baby M loves it when both grandmas dote on her at the same time.

My girl with her girl. 

6.  Do not even attempt to have an agenda while she's at your house. I knew this would be ridiculous so all projects were gladly put aside. When they're this young, you just can't do it unless you have the super power of extra energy and don't need sleep at all. Besides, what's more important than spending time with your granddaughter? Not one single thing. 

7.  Other than picking up the toys and washing dishes, just leave the house until she goes back home. The chores will be there, but she's only this young once. Spend the time enjoying your time with her.

8.  Go outside. Even if it's just the backyard, go. Kids love the outdoors so hanging out in the yard, going for walks, to the park, the beach, even the grocery store will be fun for them. It's also a wonderful perk that you get to show them off. Don't even try it, you know you do it too!

9.  Social media, blogging and the like...Ok, at first I thought people can get over it I'm not doing any of that while Baby M is here. But then she did so many cute and funny things and she's such a great kid that I did take the time to brag. I mean, I'd hate for everyone to miss out on so much cuteness. Again, don't even try to deny it. I know Y'all do it too.

10. Expect to be tired. I'm not a fan of expectations but it's ok to expect to be tired because that's the one thing you won't be able to avoid. Plus, if you expect it you will be aware you need to make the best use of your time when the little one is sleeping. You won't be at your best if you don't get some rest.

11. Expect the unexpected. No kidding. And then, go with the flow. For example, I had no idea Baby M would be cutting molars while she was here which would result in some major discomfort for her in several ways. I also did not know that Tucker would have diarrhea all over the small rug in Mother's room on that same day. Seriously, you just have to laugh. 

Mostly, just have fun with your little visitor. It's a great time and it's over in a flash. Especially when the parents cut their trip short because of a hurricane coming your way. Then not coming your way, Then giving you tropical storm force winds and tons of rain. All of which is better than a cat 4 or 5 hurricane. I hope that everyone in the direct path got out and found safe shelter. 

What can we add to the list, Y'all? 

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