Can You Have Too Much Change?

I think so. I believe that there are folks who might bring on more change to try and feel better about a change that left them feeling empty. Perhaps it's best to take the time to adjust to the heavy changes before we try to make ourselves feel better with what we think are smaller changes.

Take the lady who was having such a difficult time with her nest becoming empty that she couldn't seem to find purpose in anything she did. So this empty nest lady decided to make a few other changes in an effort to feel better about herself. She had worn her hair the very same way for decades- long and layered but decided a haircut would make her feel better. She told the hairdresser not to go too short. I'm pretty sure we're all aware of what happened next. It was too short. It was a drastic change and she couldn't stop crying. No offered solace from anyone eased her pain. She sobbed and sobbed. 

I don't think she realized that changing something that's been the same for over 20 years was going to affect her as it did. After all, it was just a haircut. People, it's never JUST a haircut. I know because I've been there. You have to be careful when choosing what you want to change to make you feel better about something that's already changed. Does that make sense?

The more I hear from moms having a difficult time with their empty nest, the more grateful I become that I didn't have to walk that path. Yes, it was an adjustment but it really didn't take that long to become a welcomed adjustment. I get it, though. Most of us moms do devote ourselves to our children from the moment we know we're pregnant. We're ready and willing to give up anything in order to give our devotion to these precious babies. Our love for them doesn't go away as they grow up but our mommy role changes. 

It's not super easy and simple to go from full out to nothing to do but sit down. But aren't we tired from all that time and energy we devoted for at least 18 years? Don't we need to sit down a minute? Don't we need to take a breath?

After all the time we spend devoting our lives to the raising of our kids to the very best of our ability it will take time to adjust. It's going to be different. But it doesn't have to take us down. We did our best and it's time to let our kids be the adults they are going to be. We have to cut those strings and stop being clingy. We need to find other ways to fill those now-empty hours from the plethora of options out there. 

Just take it slow and give the process time. I know we're not used to giving something time because we're always on go when we were raising kids but we have to learn. Of course, you don't want to give the process as much time as I did and get lazy but...Ha! Seriously, processes take time. We have to be patient.     

Whatever you do, though don't get the haircut until AFTER you've adjusted. 

What do y'all think about change? Can we do too much too soon?

Changes are Coming Soon!

UPDATE: it will be late tonight or first thing tomorrow before the new look appears! :)

I've been considering a face-lift for Empty Nest for some time now because...I needed a change. Something bright, cheery, inviting, uplifting...

Here's a hint.

I struggled, I admit that. I'm not usually one who embraces change unless it's needed. This one is needed. I also struggled with how to find someone who could do this for me because I am not creative, which should be abundantly clear. :)

I finally found Lori at Imagination Designs and we've been working on the new design (well, she's been doing the working) since August. There are a gazillion questions to be asked and decisions to be made. As new as I am to this whole blog design thing and how utterly indecisive I am about making decisions when it comes to design, this could have been pure torture on my very soul. Not with Lori at the helm, however. 

Lori knew the questions to ask and, when I floundered around, she knew how to get me back on track. Her patience level is off the charts because there were times when I was sure she was going to have some choice words for me. She never did. :)

Ok, y'all. Stay tuned because on Monday, you'll see a change right here on Empty Nest. 

Changes are Coming Soon!

UPDATE: it will be late tonight or first thing tomorrow for the new look to appear! :)

I've been considering a face-lift for Empty Nest for some time now because...I needed a change. Something bright, cheery, inviting, uplifting...

Here's a hint.

I struggled, I admit that. I'm not usually one who embraces change unless it's needed. This one is needed. I also struggled with how to find someone who could do this for me because I am not creative, which should be abundantly clear. :)

I finally found Lori at Imagination Designs and we've been working on the new design (well, she's been doing the working) since August. There are a gazillion questions to be asked and decisions to be made. As new as I am to this whole blog design thing and how utterly indecisive I am about making decisions when it comes to design, this could have been pure torture on my very soul. Not with Lori at the helm, however. 

Lori knew the questions to ask and, when I floundered around, she knew how to get me back on track. Her patience level is off the charts because there were times when I was sure she was going to have some choice words for me. She never did. :)

Ok, y'all. Stay tuned because on Monday, you'll see a change right here on Empty Nest. 

The List of the Unchanging 10

It's Monday and time to join Stasha over at The Good Life for Monday Listicles!

Each week Stasha gives us a theme for our lists. This week, we our topic was 10 Things I Have No Intention of Changing in 2013.

  At first, I laughed about this week's list topic and thought, "I have just one thing to put on this list because I have no intention of changing anything. Not one blasted thing." LOL

And then I decided to try and break it down into a list of 10.
 
 All you have to do to join the fun is click on the link or the button! 

Ten Things I Have No Intentions of Changing:

1.  The way I deal with people I don't like. Down here in the south, people tend to be nice to other people regardless of whether or not they like those other people. I'm not like that. If I don't like someone, I don't pretend that I do. It's not that I'm rude (well, not all the time) but I find it dishonest to pretend. So, I don't. 
2. My opinion on politics. That's not going to change. And no. I'm not going to get into it with y'all...my political views are personal to me. I plan to keep them that way. Hey! That's another thing I won't change. :)
3. Apparently, I'm not going to change my dress size. Dang it. It just stays right here where it is and does not go down. Maybe if I say I'm NOT going to change it, I will! Does that count?
4. My inability to knit worth a darn. I've been trying this new pattern for two weeks now and STILL can't get it right. I can't even see what it is I'm doing wrong. So, I won't be changing the way I knit---but I also won't change trying to get better. Good grief, that doesn't even make any sense. 
5. My love of teaching little kids. This is never going to change no matter how frustrating it may be. I LOVE teaching little kids. 
6. Loving the lovelies. This will never change no matter what year it is. 
7. My daily walks with my sweet Tucker. I love this early morning time with my pup!
8. My love of music! I've loved music since I was a wee girl. I will never change the this! I also have no intention of changing my dislike of country music heavy metal. 
9. My dislike of summer. The heat of summer to be specific. It's just too dang hot down here during those months.
10. The excitement of having the lovelies all home at the same time!

That's the list. What's on yours?

X- Marks the Spot

I've heard that Pirates used an 'X' to mark the spot where they buried their treasure. I thought about marking an 'X' on the body part that needs the most work but then I've have thousands of 'x-es' all over my body. Cause there's not just one place. So, I've got an 'X' marking the spot where my ideal weight is. And it seems to be taking for-freaking-EVER to get there.

I wonder what it is I will do when I hit the 'X' marking the end of my weight loss journey? I haven't been at my ideal weight for at least 10 years. I'm not sure I'll know how to act.

I've been hiding behind my girth for some time now. I haven't gone places or done things just because I was so very much overweight. I'm still overweight. But not as much. And already things are starting to change.

I ordered a dress to wear to a wedding at the end of May. I ordered it a size smaller than I usually do. It arrived yesterday and it is at least 2 sizes too big. Which is great news, right? That means I'm getting a little closer to that 'X'. But it's kind of weird. I'm a little freaked out.

I don't mind as much going out in public anymore. I actually look forward to attending certain events now. But it's a little freaky. Because I don't know who this healthier, fitter, a little less overweight person is. She's been gone for such a long time.

So maybe it really is a good thing that this journey is so dang slow. Maybe it takes a long time to reach that 'X' because those of us on this path have to get to know our healthier selves. We have to get to know who we are without all that excess weight holding us back.

And people had better watch out. Because I have a feeling that, when we do get to know our healthier, fitter, less overweight selves, we'll be out there enjoying life more than we ever have before!

This is the twenty-fourth day of the A-Z April Challenge. I thought I might try a theme this year and focus on my personal journey to health and fitness, including weight loss.

Today's letter is X and my word for the day is X MARKS THE SPOT.

Color Changes or The Room Redecorating Project from HELL

I am certainly aware that running into problems when embarking on any household improvement is not uncommon. But I would, every single time, rather hear/read about these situations than experience them.

We undertook one of the simplest of household improvement projects on a Friday. As in Friday, November 11. This simple little project--painting a bedroom--quickly turned into the nightmare from hell. Not one single aspect of this two day project went anything less than totally, completely, entirely, wholly, fully, utterly AWRY.

All we had to do is spackle, sand, prime and paint. Simple, right? WRONG.

I remember having difficulty with that dark green paint that DoodleBug picked for that room years ago---she wanted it to resemble something out of Harry Potter. So, because she loves green she chose a dark green for the wall color.

It was darker than that in real life---the picture makes it look brighter than it actually was.

That paint fought us every step of the way. It's almost like it wouldn't adhere to the walls. It was a royal pain in the rear to paint that room but we did it. And she LOVED it and kept it like that all through high school.

Since she's been away at college going on three years now, I decided it was time to redecorate the room. I wanted to keep it in the green family (you know, in case DoodleBug moves back home after college/before finding a job) but lighten it up a bit. I enlisted the aid of Deanie and her Architecture/Interior Design degree and she came up with the color scheme.

We were ready for action.

The room was not.

We busied ourselves with cleaning old paint off the window and door trim---we let the girls help us paint that room so you can imagine how the trim looked--and Hubs noticed that the paint surrounding the trim had become gummy. Tacky. Sticky. So I pulled at it, just a bit, with my finger and guess what? That freaking paint came off like damp wallpaper.

We spackled and sanded--you can see the yellow that Deanie painted the room when Breezy went to college.

See that?! Just like freaking wall paper.

No problem. It was just the area around the trim, right?

Wrong again.

I had to peel that paint off of THREE $#%^ WALLS! T.H.R.E.E.

Why not the fourth wall? Because the paint on that fourth wall won't come off with a dang jack hammer that's why.

That's the wall that held onto that paint like there was no tomorrow!

There might have been much speculation and cursing before I asked the wonderful acrossthestreet neighbor (a contractor and all around nice guy) WTF?!  Apparently, there was either no primer or very bad primer used when the original paint was put on the walls 15 years before we bought the house. And so, after 4 or 5 coats since we've lived here (because the lovelies who shared that room had changing tastes as they grew up) the coats just peel off.

Lovely. And that one wall that the paint won't peel? That was the wall that I painted to resemble water (blue and green sponging technique) when Breezy was in her marine biology phase and the paint I used made some sort of difference. So the paint on that wall wasn't coming off.

The discovery of the peeling situation occurred AFTER we had spackled and sanded all four walls. Which meant that after I peeled those three walls, we had to spackle and sand AGAIN. And then prime. And then paint. UGH.

But, finally, we have a newly painted room! And it only took us 12 days!

Paint off, spackle on (again) and sanding complete (again).

Primer on and dry!

Tucker was unimpressed with the entire process.

Though he did offer a hand every once in awhile!

WAIT! What's that under the drop cloths?!

It's just me Mom!

The walls were finally primed! It was time to paint!

Wet paint!

Since Deanie thought we should try a beachie atmosphere in the room, Hubs discovered this old head board in the garage at his mother's house. But it had to be stripped and painted. Thanksgiving week. Good grief.

I already had to strip and paint this piece AND the bedside table. Why not add the headboard?

This is what we have so far. Tucker has already claimed it as his room.

The curtains are not up yet and I'm changing those blinds. BUT, not too shabby for a couple of empty nesters who ran into a crap ton of problems and didn't finish until the day before Thanksgiving, eh?

What did I learn? Never, and I mean NEVER, begin a project anywhere NEAR the holiday season! NEVER.

N.E.V.E.R.

Different

When I thought about how to sum up the first year’s experience of living in an empty nest in only one word, my initial response was EMPTY.  Upon further reflection, however, I realized that the word ‘empty’ only relates to the girls not living at home not to the actual experience of living in this empty nest of ours.  A better word to sum it up is ‘different.’  

Obviously, our home is different with only two of us living here as opposed to six (then five, then four, etc).  The bedrooms are different because the girls have taken almost all of their possessions with them and I have made some changes in those rooms.  One bedroom has become a guest room and the other is now my study.  Further changes are coming that will make them even more different-fresh coats of paint, new curtains and rugs- are all in the works.  The noise level is certainly different.  It’s quieter now.  And we’ve really come to appreciate….enjoy….ok, we LOVE it.  We really notice this when everyone comes home.   Calling them LOUD would be an understatement.  They have the television blaring so they can hear it over the conversations.  The conversations get louder to be heard over the television and, well, it becomes a vicious cycle of constantly increasing volumes.  Of course someone is going to grab the dobro and start playing it as well and it may be coupled with some singing so, at some point, there could, quite possibly, be tv, conversations, dobro playing and singing all going on at the same time.  Oh, and then Breezy might decide to play with Tucker and start squeaking his favorite ball which makes him start barking… So, without using any powers of imagination at all, it’s easy to grasp an understanding as to why we don’t get teary eyed when they all leave anymore- which is also different.  Oh, we’ll miss them, but we also miss the quiet when they are here.  

Taking on a hobby is different because the amount of free time is different.  Instead of having a daughter (or two or three or four) fill up our hours for us, Hubs and I can now fill the time as we please (which my selfish nature ADORES).  My favorite new hobby is photography and I combine it with birding.  Who would have ever thought this would be so satisfying?!  Who had the time to make the discovery before empty nest?  Hubs doesn't have any new hobbies yet.  He's still busy with his all time favorite hobby of annoying me.  We have filled our time with a garden- three raised beds and one fenced in area for the squash.  Good thing we have all this time now though, because I have to spend many hours trying to figure out where I went wrong and got very little other than peppers and tomatoes.  I’m spending this gardening season searching for that elusive green thumb.  My flowers, however, were beautiful!  I plan to apply the ‘square foot gardening theory’ to our raised beds this year.  AND I won’t start from seeds anymore until we get the greenhouse up- also something different now that we have the time (of course, it will take Hubs several more years of talking about doing it before he actually put some action with those words).  I’ve had the time to organize all sorts of things in the house that have been living in chaos for the 23 years we’ve been in this house (and by organized I mean that I moved the chaos around so that it doesn’t look quite so…chaotic).  I had time to start a blog! I had time to hand-make everyone a gift for Christmas last year.  I had time to learn how to knit scarves, hats, fingerless gloves, baby blankets and sweaters and SOCKS!  When it comes down to it, Hubs and I now do what we want, when we want, where we want.  This freedom from time constraints and schedules is not only quite pleasing and easy to get accustomed to, it’s also liberating.  

We are now in the second half of our second year of an empty nest and the word I would choose now could very well be: adjusted.  Or, at least, almost adjusted.  Hubs and I have worked hard to find ourselves in this empty nest called home.  And we’re nearly there.  I’m looking forward to more and more discoveries—all related to the positives of having an empty nest.   

This is the 22nd day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for the month of March. The theme for this month is: in a word! My chosen word for today is: DIFFERENT.