Try Something New

We've all tried something new at some point in time. Lots of things, actually. But when is the last time you tried something new?

Is it important to try new things? It is scary to try new things? Do the benefits outweigh the risk of trying new things? I think the answers are- Yes; It can be; Most of the time, yes.

In the last three years of adjusting to this empty nest of mine, if I've done nothing else, I've tried new things. Not risky things- I've never been a risk taker- like jumping out of a plane to plummet to my death parachute to earth. No, never anything like that.

I remember trying something new back in the early 1980s- a roller coaster that made a loop. NEVER again. N.E.V.E.R. And I mean it.

But I have tried some new things since my nest emptied out in August of 2009.

• I've tried my hand at gardening and discovered that it is a learning process and that it requires care and patience. 
• I've tried my hand at canning tomatoes from my garden and discovered that this process could easily become an addiction!
• I've tried my hand at blogging and discovered that I LOVE it and that there are the sweetest, kindest, funniest, awe-inspiring, most honest bunch of wonderful people all over this tremendous planet of ours.
• I've tried my hand at getting healthy and am discovering that it can be done, even at my age, and that it, too, is a process of learning and of discerning the true from the crap. 
• I've tried my hand at getting fit and am discovering that it can also be done even at my age. And I'm discovering that this is a true lesson in patience and perseverance.
• I've tried my hand at photography and learned that it is so much fun! And that it, too, is a learning process that involves time and patience.

I've tried a host of other things as well. So, what's my point, exactly? Trying new things can be quite helpful when learning how to live in a nest that has emptied out.

Living in an empty nest is a learning process. It takes time to adjust to not having any kids in the house who need this/that/and the other thing RIGHT NOW or YESTERDAY. We have to learn how to be empty nesters.

Everything is different and it does require a period of adjustment. Will there be tears? Oh HELL YES. Will there be sadness? Oh HELL YES. Will is be like that forever? Absolutely NOT.

As the time passes and we begin to learn who we are in this new role, we start to see things that we can now do that we didn't have the time for while we were raising our little ones. And we actually begin to appreciate this fact.

One thing that helped me immensely during my threefreakingyear adjustment period was trying new things. Yes, it's time filling but it's also enlightening. Trying new things helps you make discoveries about yourself and your situation. It helps you define your new role and come to terms with everything about it.

Just sitting in a chair in front of the television or whatever isn't going to help a thing. Life is for LIVING not for brooding or feeling sorry for ourselves. We spent YEARS raising our kids to enable them to go out there and live their lives. To be productive members of society. To make a positive difference in the world. To be world changers. To live THEIR lives. And we were successful.

This doesn't mean our lives are over. It just means that things are different now. New, if you will. So try it out. Deal with any sadness- let it come and flood over you and deal with it-not dealing with it is not good.

Try new things- anything at all. But no sitting around.  The husband's grandmother always used to say, "If you sit down, you'll get rusty."And we don't want that!

Remember, we're still needed and we can't do anything if we sit around all sad and get rusty. Yes, there will still be those moments of nostalgia that come flooding back when we least expect them, spurred on by a song or a picture or a simple thought. But those moments will come further apart as we adjust and become more bittersweet than depressing and will even come to bring more smiles as we recall the funny part of the memory instead of feeling sorry for ourselves that our kids are no longer little...

Meanwhile, it's way more fun to get up and experience those new things and learn to laugh even when the house is empty than to sit and ask Dorothy to pass the oil can.

 



  

Different

When I thought about how to sum up the first year’s experience of living in an empty nest in only one word, my initial response was EMPTY.  Upon further reflection, however, I realized that the word ‘empty’ only relates to the girls not living at home not to the actual experience of living in this empty nest of ours.  A better word to sum it up is ‘different.’  

Obviously, our home is different with only two of us living here as opposed to six (then five, then four, etc).  The bedrooms are different because the girls have taken almost all of their possessions with them and I have made some changes in those rooms.  One bedroom has become a guest room and the other is now my study.  Further changes are coming that will make them even more different-fresh coats of paint, new curtains and rugs- are all in the works.  The noise level is certainly different.  It’s quieter now.  And we’ve really come to appreciate….enjoy….ok, we LOVE it.  We really notice this when everyone comes home.   Calling them LOUD would be an understatement.  They have the television blaring so they can hear it over the conversations.  The conversations get louder to be heard over the television and, well, it becomes a vicious cycle of constantly increasing volumes.  Of course someone is going to grab the dobro and start playing it as well and it may be coupled with some singing so, at some point, there could, quite possibly, be tv, conversations, dobro playing and singing all going on at the same time.  Oh, and then Breezy might decide to play with Tucker and start squeaking his favorite ball which makes him start barking… So, without using any powers of imagination at all, it’s easy to grasp an understanding as to why we don’t get teary eyed when they all leave anymore- which is also different.  Oh, we’ll miss them, but we also miss the quiet when they are here.  

Taking on a hobby is different because the amount of free time is different.  Instead of having a daughter (or two or three or four) fill up our hours for us, Hubs and I can now fill the time as we please (which my selfish nature ADORES).  My favorite new hobby is photography and I combine it with birding.  Who would have ever thought this would be so satisfying?!  Who had the time to make the discovery before empty nest?  Hubs doesn't have any new hobbies yet.  He's still busy with his all time favorite hobby of annoying me.  We have filled our time with a garden- three raised beds and one fenced in area for the squash.  Good thing we have all this time now though, because I have to spend many hours trying to figure out where I went wrong and got very little other than peppers and tomatoes.  I’m spending this gardening season searching for that elusive green thumb.  My flowers, however, were beautiful!  I plan to apply the ‘square foot gardening theory’ to our raised beds this year.  AND I won’t start from seeds anymore until we get the greenhouse up- also something different now that we have the time (of course, it will take Hubs several more years of talking about doing it before he actually put some action with those words).  I’ve had the time to organize all sorts of things in the house that have been living in chaos for the 23 years we’ve been in this house (and by organized I mean that I moved the chaos around so that it doesn’t look quite so…chaotic).  I had time to start a blog! I had time to hand-make everyone a gift for Christmas last year.  I had time to learn how to knit scarves, hats, fingerless gloves, baby blankets and sweaters and SOCKS!  When it comes down to it, Hubs and I now do what we want, when we want, where we want.  This freedom from time constraints and schedules is not only quite pleasing and easy to get accustomed to, it’s also liberating.  

We are now in the second half of our second year of an empty nest and the word I would choose now could very well be: adjusted.  Or, at least, almost adjusted.  Hubs and I have worked hard to find ourselves in this empty nest called home.  And we’re nearly there.  I’m looking forward to more and more discoveries—all related to the positives of having an empty nest.   

This is the 22nd day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for the month of March. The theme for this month is: in a word! My chosen word for today is: DIFFERENT.