How to Solve the Biggest Relationship Problems

Kick everyone out of your house. LOL I'm kidding. But, now that I have your attention...

How DO you solve the biggest relationship problems? Walk away and forget about it? Drop the other person from your life and move on? Fake it by pretending to be ok with everything when you really aren't? Do whatever it takes just as long as you can avoid confrontation?

Yeah, those are the easy ways out. But they don't do one darn thing for solving the problems. Any of the above choices would merely mask our true feelings and, at some point, whether it takes an hour or twenty years, that mask is going to slide right off your face and all hell is going to break loose. Seriously.

I believe the best thing to do, no matter how uncomfortable or time consuming or painful or whatever it is, is to communicate.

I understand that there are folks out there who make communication virtually impossible. I know people like this. Whenever you talk to these people, they turn it around on you or start yelling at you, maybe they start calling you names. Yeah, they can make you not care to discuss anything with them. At all. EVER.

But, I go ahead and do it anyway. At least you get it out there. It's been said, you've gotten it out and you will feel better. The understanding (or lack thereof) and the willingness (or unwillingness) and the ability to communicate (or inability) is on THEM. Not you

Communication skills are not that diffiicult. All you have to do is share your thoughts/feelings/perspective/ideas/etc. CALMLY and RESPECTFULLY (watch your tone of voice, body language, and your words). And you must be willing to listen to the other person giving feedback just to make sure you truly understand what he/she means.

All too often we jump on the offensive because we believe we are under attack. That's not always the case. Most of the time we simply misunderstand what is really being voiced.

Keeping judgment out of the conversation is also a must. Assuming you know exactly what the other person's problem is and what they're saying just because you've known them forever and a day is not a good idea. People change and so do their thoughts/ideas/opinions/perspective/etc. Having an opinion is fine, but expressing it when someone is trying to share their feelings with you could very well be bad timing on your part. A lot of the time, all someone is doing is wanting someone to listen.

Opening up and sharing our feelings is not easy. When we do,, we make ourselves vulnerable. If someone does open up to us, they are letting us know that they trust us. Calling them names or making them feel stupid let's them know immediately that they cannot trust us. So, on top having problems, they know realize that their relationship with us is not what they thought. Double trouble.

Having that 'I'm right, you're wrong' mentality isn't going to help either. Even if it's true. (I'm kidding, sheesh). Seriously, sporting this attitude will get you nowhere and will make people see you as an arrogant jerk-wad.

Keeping a relationship healthy requires effort. Putting ourselves (our ego/wants/agendas/etc) aside makes that effort just a little bit easier. Even when the other person doesn't do the same for us.

So, do tell, how do y'all solve a relationship problem?